I thought about calling Renee, just to tell her what I planned on doing. I almost wanted someone to talk me off the ledge. To tell me that going to the club, the place where Maxx has indulged in the darkest parts of himself, was the dumbest thing I could do.
But instead I stuck the flyer on my dashboard and headed toward an unknowable future.
I ended up at the old Longwood Residential Center, which used to be a nursing home almost thirty years ago. The sprawling, rambling buildings were derelict and falling down in places. It looked condemned, which is why this location was perfect for the club.
I was surprised by how close it was to the center of town. It was a bit more conspicuous than was usual for the underground scene. I got out of my car and was hit by a wave of déjà vu. The pounding bass could be heard in the distance. The dizzying wave of energy seemed to emanate from the building ahead of me.
Groups of people moved forward, beckoned by the siren’s call of madness and illusion that Compulsion promised. I felt a momentary apprehension and thought briefly about getting back into my car and heading home. But I also felt the pull of the music. Of the knowledge that what lay inside was unlike anything I’d experience anywhere else. Though knowing how easy it would be to surrender myself didn’t provide the comfort it once had. But I was powerless against it all the same.
The line wove in and out of the trees as one by one people were admitted or denied entry. The usual extremes were out in force, from the woman who seemed to be wearing plastic wrap and a bow tie, to the guy with his entire face covered in tattoos. Each person had done all they could to make it seem like they belonged. Because that’s exactly what they were searching for.
Belonging.
I looked down at my woefully inferior club attire and almost laughed. Once again, here I was, waiting to be let inside and dressed like a walking, talking J.Crew catalogue.
But I joined the line anyway and waited my turn. I recognized Randy, the bouncer, and Marco, Maxx’s friend taking money at the door. I only hoped one or both recognized me. Though I couldn’t count on that. They encountered hundreds of people every night, and my interactions with Marco had been brief. I seriously doubted they’d remember me.
I rolled the hem of my shirt, knotting it between my fingers in my sudden bout of nervousness. Why did I think this was a good idea?
“Are you for real?” Randy barked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I blinked, a little confused by his antagonism.
“Excuse me?” I squeaked out.
Randy pointed at my gender-neutral ensemble. “You can’t come in wearing that shit,” he growled, the words getting lost in the growth of his beard.
“Let her in. I need to talk to her,” Marco cut in, stepping in front of Randy and waving me past.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, looking up at Marco. I offered a smile, which died a sad little death as I took in the irritation on his face. Was that directed at me? What hadIdone?
“Cover for me for a few minutes,” he told Randy, who only nodded. Marco looked back down at me, his eyes hooded in the darkness, the metal in his lip and eyebrow gleaming in the dismal lighting. He didn’t just look irritated. He looked pissed.
And more than a little scary.
He wrapped his hand around my upper arm and all but dragged me into the club. The music jarred my bones as I was pushed into a dark alcove off from the dance floor.
I tried to wiggle free of Marco’s pincerlike grasp, but he wasn’t letting go.
“You’re hurting me!” I protested, straining to be heard over the thumping bass.
“Where is he?” Marco shouted in my face.
His question caught me off guard.
“What?” I asked.
“X, or Maxx, whatever he’s calling himself. Where the fuck is he? There are people,seriouspeople, who are looking for him.” Marco glowered at me, as if I was the one responsible for Maxx’s MIA status.
“How would I know?” I argued, though Marco’s questions gave me some of the confirmation I had been looking for.
Maxx wasn’t here. He hadn’t been in some time.
And even though it still didn’t answer the question of where he had gone, I could at least be comforted in the knowledge that he hadn’t gone back tothis.
Marco gave my arm a little shake. “Because he’s been stuck up your ass for months. I knew he was pulling back because of you. I know the signs of pussy-whipped when I see it. Now, where the hell did that little fuck disappear to?”
Remembering some old-school self-defense, I stepped on Marco’s foot and gave him a hearty shove in the center of his chest, causing him to fall backward and let go of my arm.
I rubbed the throbbing skin and took a few steps away from him.
