“Are you going to see Iain at all over the summer? Is he sticking around campus?” I asked. I still wasn’t sure what was going on with Iain. I knew Renee had gone out on a few dates, but I knew my friend and she was purposefully not investing in a relationship with the guy.
Renee shrugged. “I’m not sure. We haven’t really discussed summer plans,” she said, unconcerned.
“Maybe you could make some plans with him?” I urged. I hated seeing Renee close herself off the way I had always done. Renee was the impulsive, passionate one. I had been steady and emotionally stunted. I wasn’t sure what to think about the role reversal.
I worried about Renee. Sure, she was doing great in school and seemed to be making a good effort of moving on from Devon, but there was a spark missing in her eyes that bothered me. Renee gave me a sideways look, knowing exactly what I was doing. “You’re so pushy, Aubrey,” she accused with a smile.
“I just want to see my best friend happy,” I replied, nudging her shoulder with mine as we walked across campus.
“Iamhappy,” Renee argued.
“Okay, I’d like to see youhappier,” I corrected.
“I don’t need a guy to be happy, Aubrey. Give me a bit more credit for my personal growth,” she scolded.
“I’m not saying you need a guy, Renee. I just don’t want you to morph into the Aubrey zombie of emotional death,” I joked.
“An Aubrey zombie, huh? Sounds pretty scary.” She laughed.
“It is, trust me,” I said soberly, meaning it.
“I know you think I’m shutting myself off because of what happened with Devon. And that’s not it. I swear it. I’m just protecting myself from now on. And I don’t think jumping into something serious is the way to do that. I can date Iain and have fun, but that’s it. That’s all I’m capable of right now.”
“Okay, I understand, I won’t push it.”
“I don’t mind you pushing, Aubrey. I know it’s because you love me,” Renee said, looping her arm through mine.
“Love you silly.” I grinned.
Renee chuckled and shook her head. “You’ve got the silly part right.”
“What’s going on over there?” Renee pointed to a group of people congregated around the side of the gym.
“I’m not sure,” I said, giving my friend’s arm a tug.
My guts twisted with déjà vu.
“Let’s go check it out,” I said, my voice strangely rough.
“Whatever it is has gotten everyone pretty excited,” Renee commented as we bounced on our tiptoes trying to see over the heads of the crowd.
“Let’s go linebacker on these guys,” I said, nodding my head toward the people milling around in tight clumps.
“I’ve got my elbows ready,” Renee joked. Together, we pushed through to the brick wall that seemed to hold everyone’s attention.
And then my heart dropped to the ground along with my belief in trust and love and hope.
“No,” I breathed out, hardly believing what I was seeing.
A large painting took up most of the wall. The wordCompulsiondraped the clouds drawn onto the brick. It was a rather mundane drawing of a field of flowers and a tree, the address clearly written on the bark.
It wasn’t the prettiest drawing I had ever seen, but its significance made me want to throw up.
“Isn’t this what Maxx used to do for the club?” Renee asked from behind me.
I nodded, my mouth dry and my throat tightening dangerously. I pushed back through the crowd and leaned against the far end of the wall, trying to breathe through the nausea.
This couldn’t be right. Could it?
