Dania has a baby strapped to her front in some strange looking bag thing.
“Why do you have a baby attached to you?” I ask.
“She’s my daughter. Her name is Lyla. And she’s in a sling,” she answers and I don’t care. I want her to leave.
I keep looking for the chicken. I start pulling packages out of the refrigerator and throw them on the floor. They’re in the way. I need to find the two chicken breasts for $4.00 that I always get.
“You need to stop doing that or they’ll throw you out of the store, Flynn,” Dania says, and I ignore her. I don’t care what she has to say.
“Tell me what you’re looking for and I’ll help you find it,” she says.
“The two chicken breasts for $4.00. It’s what I always get,” I say.
Dania starts to dig through the chicken and hands me the package. “Here you go,” she says and she smiles. It’s not the smile she used to have on her face when she was saying things to me that hurt.
This is a nice smile.
I still don’t like her.
Her baby starts crying, and I frown. I have never been around a baby before. She’s loud. I put my hands over my ears.
“Tell her to stop,” I yell over the crying.
Dania makes a noise with her mouth as she leans close to the baby. Finally the baby stops crying and I lower my hands.
I look closer at the baby in the sling on Dania’s chest. “She’s funny looking,” I say because it’s true. Her face is all wrinkled looking and she doesn’t have any hair.
Dania laughs, and I wonder what I said that was funny. “Babies do look funny. But her looks will change as she gets older.”
“That’s good. It would suck to look like that forever,” I tell her. I drop the chicken in the basket I’m holding and head towards the next aisle.
“Mayonnaise. White Bread. Dog Treats,” I say, looking for the next thing.
I finish the rest of my shopping and head to the cash register. I stand behind Dania who is trying to get something out of her purse but can’t because of the baby strapped to her chest.
“Do you need help?” I ask her because I need to pay for my groceries and go home. I need to make dinner and grade papers. I like grading papers. It relaxes me.
Dania looks at me and hands me her baby. “Can you hold Lyla just for a second?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to,” I tell her. I have never held a baby. I don’t want to hold Dania’s baby.
I have thought about Ellie having babies. Of us having babies together. I like the idea of being a dad. I think I would be good at it. Like my dad was before he died. I won’t care that babies are loud because it would be my baby. And Ellie’s. Our baby together.
“Just for a second, Flynn. Please,” she says and I take the baby who is now awake. I hold the baby away from my body, not sure how I should do it. She isn’t very heavy, which is strange since she’s really just a little person. Not a very pretty one though.
“Hi,” I say to the baby that Dania calls Lyla. Her eyes are blue and she smells strange. I lean down and sniff her head, trying to figure out what she smells like.
“What are you doing?” Dania asks.
“Smelling the baby. She smells…good.” She does smell good. It’s weird.
“Here I can take her back,” Dania says, but I like holding Lyla. She isn’t crying which is good and she is just looking at me. And not in a way that I don’t like.
Maybe she isn’t so funny looking.
“Flynn,” Dania says, and I shove the baby away from me. Dania takes her. “Thank you,” she says.
Dania takes her bags and moves away from the cash register. She smiles again in that way that isn’t like her old smiles.
