“Flynn, come on. Let’s go to the room,” Ellie says, touching my arm. I don’t want her to touch me. Not when I’m like this.
“Leave me alone!” I yell.
“Okay, I won’t touch you, but I’m tired and I don’t want to stand here all day. I’d like to go to our room.”
“It’s ugly! I don’t want to sleep here!” I yell into my hands.
“Okay, well let’s go somewhere else,” Ellie says, and I shake my head.
“I want to go home! I don’t want to be in Franklinburg, Maryland!” I’m getting really, really angry. When I get mad my head hurts and I can’t think straight. I yell and I throw stuff and then when I’m done, I feel stupid for acting that way.
I hate yelling in front of Ellie. I hate seeing the look on her face that I don’t really understand. A look that makes me think that she doesn’t want to be with me.
I run out of the hotel and go to my car. I get inside and lock the doors. I just want to be left alone. I hit the steering wheel hard. It makes my hand hurt.
I want to go home.
I want to go home.
There’s a knock on the window after I feel calmer. It’s Ellie. I don’t unlock the door. I don’t want to see that expression on her face. I ignore her, wanting her to go away.
I wanted to see her so badly and now I just want her to leave.
I don’t like feeling this way. It makes my chest hurt and my stomach feel sick.
“Let me in, Flynn,” I hear her say.
She’s not going anywhere. She is standing beside my car and I feel bad. I don’t want to make her upset.
I unlock my car doors, and she gets into the passenger seat. We don’t say anything.
I like our quiet.
“If you want to go home, it’s okay,” she says, and I don’t believe her. She sounds sad.
“I don’t want to be here. I don’t like this hotel,” I tell her.
She makes a noise but I don’t look at her.
“Then go home, Flynn. But I’m tired and I want to sleep. So I’m going to stay here tonight,” she says, and I know she’s not sad anymore. She’s angry. With me. Why is she always angry with me lately?
Ellie gets out of the car and goes back into the hotel.
I don’t leave.
I don’t want to go home anymore.
I want to make Ellie happy. I want to see her smile.
I go inside.
I don’t look at the girl behind the counter. I walk to the room that I went to earlier and knock on the door.
Ellie opens it and her mouth is open. Does she look surprised? Is that right?
“I thought you were going home,” she says.
“I came here to see you. I’m not going home,” I say, and she smiles.
