“Bye, Ellie. Surprise me tomorrow.”
“Bye, Flynn.”
Chapter Five
-Ellie-
“Why do I have to go to a doctor? I’m not sick!” I demand. Julie gave me a smile that didn’t look much like a happy smile. She was driving on the interstate. She promised she wasn’t taking me to a new house.
I haven’t been with the Metcalfs for very long. Only a few weeks. It hasn’t been too bad. A lot better than living with the Bennetts. Their son, Sean, would make me take showers with him. It was really weird. I was only eight and a half but I knew that was wrong.
He had told me not to tell anyone. He was thirteen and a lot bigger than I was. He twisted my arm behind my back until I told him I wouldn’t say anything. It made me really angry. I hated being alone with him.
So I set fire to their kitchen. And Julie took me to a new family.
Mrs. Metcalf was okay and Mr. Metcalf was never around. Their youngest daughter, Pearl, was annoying and wouldn’t stay out of my room. I didn’t like people touching my stuff. I got into trouble when I yelled at her for picking up Clive. Mrs. Metcalf didn’t like that and told me to apologize. I wouldn’t. Pearl should apologize for touching Clive. I told her not to go near my things.
“It’s not that kind of doctor, Ellie,” Julie said.
“What kind of doctor is it then?” I asked, hugging Clive to my chest.
“It’s the kind of doctor that you can talk to about your feelings. And maybe can help us figure out how to make you feel happier.”
“Like a shrink?” I asked, biting on my thumbnail and looking out the window.
Julie snorted. “And what’s a shrink?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s like all those other people you’ve made me go talk to. Like the lady who kept asking how I felt about my mom leaving me.”
I didn’t like talking about my feelings. I got angry. I hit stuff. Then I’d get in trouble and have to go live with a new family.
Talking about feelings was bad for me.
“They can help you if you let them,” Julie said and I rolled my eyes again.
“I don’t want to go!” I yelled, pounding my fist into the seat.
“You’ve got a lot of anger, Ellie. I just want to know how to help you.”
“Shut up!” I screamed, smacking my forehead against the window hard enough to bruise.
“Don’t do that, Ellie!” Julie scolded as I hit my head against the window again.
It really hurt. I was mad. And upset. I wanted to cry. And yell. And hurt myself.
I started smacking my head with my hand. The sting hurt but I couldn’t stop.
“Shut up and take me back!” I demanded, hitting myself harder.
Suddenly Julie stopped the car and got out. I was yelling and hitting myself.
Then she was pulling on my arms and holding my hands. I struggled against her. I tried to bite her but couldn’t.
I spit in her face and got one of my hands free. I pulled on her hair hard.
Julie didn’t hit me. She didn’t yell. She held my hands in her hers as I fought against her.
“Shh. It’s okay, Ellie,” she said quietly.
