Would he do the same now?
Or had I pushed him away one too many times?
I had made a huge mistake in taking off instead of trying to sort things out with him. I only hoped that I had finally learned my lesson.
I could hear Murphy barking inside but Flynn never came out. He didn’t come to the door. He didn’t look out the window. The door stayed closed.
I grabbed my bag and walked up the porch steps, the wood creaking underneath my feet. I opened the door slowly, not sure what to expect.
Murphy came bounding toward me, assaulting me with his exuberant form of doggie love.
“Hey buddy,” I cooed, scratching him behind the ear. I dropped my bag on the floor and put my keys on the kitchen counter.
I could hear the TV on in the living room but the house was otherwise quiet.
“Flynn?” I called out. I walked into the living room but it was empty.
He wasn’t there.
I frowned and went back to the bedroom and there was no sign of him.
It was then that I realized his car was gone.
I thought about calling him to let him know that I was back but then decided not to.
I took a shuddering breath and on a whim, reached for my guitar that sat, untouched on its stand in the corner of the room. I hadn’t been much in the mood to play it for a while but suddenly I felt the desire.
I ran my hand along the smooth wood of the neck, remembering how proud Flynn had been to give it to me. He had known that when I was a teenager I had enjoyed playing. So he had gotten me this gorgeous instrument so that I could continue doing something I loved.
I plucked the strings, turning the tuning pegs until I could produce a pleasant sound. I hummed under my breath and started strumming a melody I hadn’t played in years.
A song about first love and heartache. I sang under my breath in time to the music.
When I was finished I sensed I was no longer alone in the room.
I looked up to see Flynn standing in the doorway watching me.
“You haven’t played your guitar in a long time,” he said.
I let my fingers drift along the strings. “I haven’t really felt like playing,” I said, feeling suddenly unsure of what to say to him now that our moment was here. I had rehearsed my words a thousand times over on the car ride home but now I was rendered speechless.
There would be a lot ofI’m sorrysandI suck monkey balls.I thought I’d throw in anI’m not worthyfor good measure, though I figured the Wayne’s World reference would be lost on him. It was worth a shot.
But now, with him standing in front of me, looking distant and unsure, I couldn’t summon up any words at all.
“I wasn’t sure you would come back,” he said, his carefully neutral.
“I remember you saying once that you knew I’d come back,” I said, my words cracking and breaking.
But I know that one day I won’t need to miss you anymore because you’ll come back and find me again.
He had been so sure, so confident in my love for him all those years ago. There had never been a question that we’d end up where we belonged…with each other.
But now he didn’t look at me like a man who trusted his girlfriend not to break him. He looked scared.
“That was different,” he stated.
“How was it different?” I asked him, carefully putting the guitar back on the stand. I didn’t get to my feet. I stayed where I was, never sure exactly how close Flynn would let me come. Especially not now with the odd tension that filled the room.
