That was the danger of Wellston.
I could lose myself, my dreams, my good sense.
They could all disappear as quickly as I had found them.
Chapter Twenty-two
-Ellie-
“Oh god!” the guy moaned as I wrapped my hand around his less than spectacular dick.
I went about the motions of jerking him off, already bored, my mind wandering to other things.
Like if I had left the lights on in my apartment. Or what time my next shift at JAC’s was.
“Harder! Oh fucking god, harder!” the guy pleaded and I complied. Shit, my wrist was getting a cramp. I hoped he blew his load quickly, otherwise I was in danger of getting a Charlie horse in my arm.
I was shit-faced drunk. It was the only way I’d ever allow myself to disappear into a darkened bedroom with a dude I didn’t even know. I didn’t like complications, so quick easy sex seemed to fill an immediate need that I couldn’t get anywhere else.
But tonight I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t want to go through the hassle of taking my pants off and finding a condom. I hoped using my hand to get the guy’s rocks off would be enough.
“It’s coming! Oh shit, here we go!” he screamed and I rolled my eyes. Was he for real? What a douche!
He came all over my hand and I felt a little sick. When he was finished I got up and quickly went into the bathroom to rinse off. I came back out and the guy was gone. I didn’t even feel shitty about it.
I was just relieved that he didn’t expect anything else.
I walked back out to the party and looked around at the familiar scene. I wasn’t sure whose apartment I was in, only that it was filled with the people that I had been hanging out with since high school.
“There you are!” Dania yelled, waving me over from her spot on the couch. Her shirt had gone missing at some point and she was wearing only her bra. She didn’t seem to care though.
I sat down beside her after making the jackass sat beside her, ogling her boobs move.
“I saw you going off somewhere with Ryan Tusing,” Dania smirked.
“Is that his name?” I asked, unconcerned. Shane, who sat on the floor at Dania’s feet, handed me a small pipe and a lighter. I lit the pipe and took a pull of drug-laced smoke into my lungs.
“You’re such a slut,” Dania cackled, elbowing me in the side.
I shrugged, not wanting to admit that her words hurt. Because she was right.
I was a slut.
A pathetic girl using booze, drugs, and meaningless sex to fill a void. It should mean something that I was at least aware of what I was doing and why. But it didn’t. I went back to my inebriated self-loathing.
I was barely aware of Shane sliding his hand up my inner thigh until he tried to unzip my pants.
I smacked him in the face and got unsteadily to my feet. “I’ll cut off your as well as your dick if you don’t stay the fuck away from me,” I threatened.
Shane laughed, though he looked a little worried, and Dania thought my being groped was hysterical.
I stumbled out of the apartment and onto the balcony. I was going to puke. My head was spinning and I wanted nothing more than to pass out.
And there, just below me, I saw a familiar dark head. The hair was unkempt and hung in the guy’s face. My heart, already thudding in an irregular rhythm, went into overdrive.
“Flynn?” I whispered, hardly able to believe what I was seeing. I saw spots in front of my eyes the harder I tried to focus on the man below me.
My gut clenched in a painful combination of longing and hatred.
