But I heard him. In the depths of my heart I would always be able to hear him.
I leaned in and touched his lips with mine. I didn’t move. I didn’t kiss him. I let him get used to the feel of my mouth. If he wanted to pull back, now would be the time. Before I let go and kissed him the way I wanted to.
He was breathing noisily through his nose. The air whooshed in and out so fast I was a bit worried he’d hyperventilate.
“Is this okay?” I asked, my lips brushing against his.
He didn’t answer me. He only nodded.
So I closed my eyes and pressed my mouth firmer. And then I was kissing him.
I started slow, as difficult as that was for me. Delicate pecks against his mouth as he worked out what he was supposed to do. Light caresses. Soft touches.
It felt like forever before he finally started to respond and kiss me back. His tender, innocent grazes stoked a fire inside of me that I didn’t even know existed. I tentatively licked his lower lip and he shuddered.
I licked him again, this time pressing between his lips. He clenched his teeth together as though to bar my entry. I pulled back slightly and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Please let me taste you,” I begged. If he pulled away now I didn’t know what I’d do. I’d most likely crumble into a heap of sexual frustration and never get up again.
“I want to taste you too,” he whispered and then his tongue was arching out to meet mine. I sealed my lips over his and I taught him how to kiss me like he wanted to devour.
For someone who was so new to this whole kissing thing, he picked up the basics surprisingly fast. The man was a natural. He sucked on my tongue and I couldn’t control my deep, guttural moan. I instantly froze, worried my primal response would send him scrambling.
I was pleasantly shocked when it had the opposite effect. Flynn brought his hands up and pressed his palms into my back. He dug his fingers into my flesh and I felt as though he were trying to burrow his way inside. His mouth was hot and hurried.
But I could only go so far. And I wanted to scream with the irony of that. I had finally found a man I wanted to share all of myself with but he wasn’t ready for me to do that.
Because I wanted to grope. I wanted to stroke. I wanted to rip his clothes off and run my hands over his smooth, hard body. But I couldn’t.
This was the first step and I couldn’t venture any further. Even if the ache between my thighs was threatening to reach an earth shattering crescendo.
So after a few minutes, I forced myself to pull back. I didn’t want to and I could tell Flynn didn’t want me to either. His lips reached out for mine again, his fingers turning to claws as he gripped me tightly. I chuckled as I leaned backwards, placing a finger over his mouth.
“Let me catch my breath,” I pleaded. Because if I didn’t take a minute, I’d push him for more. I had officially become the dude in our scenario.
“But I want to kiss you a lot. I liked that,” he pouted and I couldn’t help but kiss him one more time. But when he tried to deepen it, I pulled away and rolled onto my back.
We were quiet for a long time. I threw my arm over my eyes and tried to dampen my raging hormones. I was more turned on by Flynn’s kisses than I had ever been by having sex with the countless guys that had come before him.
The only sound was our raspy breathing. It was a comfortably intimate moment, lying in the grass, our arms barely touching, lost in the waves of a passion I could barely believe was real.
“Was it okay? Did you like it?” Flynn asked and I could hear the thread of doubt in his voice. His normally flat tone was tinged with worry.
I lowered my arm and rolled back on my side so that I was facing him again. His eyes were trained on the sky so I reached out and placed my hand on his chest.
“I loved it, Flynn. It was amazing,” I said truthfully. I hoped he could recognize my sincerity. I hoped, just this once, he understood the real emotion in my tone and inflection. Because what I wanted to say but couldn’t was so much more profound than that.
I love you, Flynn.
“Good, because I want to do that again.” Flynn grinned and squeezed my hand before sitting up.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Flynn whistled for Murphy who came galloping across the yard with his long, clumsy strides. His large body collided with Flynn, who caught him around the middle.
He touched and cuddled the creature so easily. One day I hoped he touched me with such easy affection.
“I’m freezing. I have banana bread inside. Come have some,” Flynn stated, getting to his feet and systematically wiping grass from his pants and shirt. It was never a question. Flynn only gave commands.
