I hated those words. They sucked and they were never true.
Because I wasn’t sorry.
It was better to break now than shatter later.
-Flynn-
Many years ago…
I hated the snow.
I hated the way it made my hair wet and fell into the collar of my shirt.
My mom had given me a scarf but I wouldn’t wear it. It felt too tight on my neck. It made me itch.
I walked home from school. I liked walking home. I looked at my watch and started to count. Five minutes until I came to the fork in the road. Three hundred seconds.
I didn’t need the paper Mom had made for me anymore. I remembered the minutes and seconds without it. That made me happy.
“Hey Freaky!” I knew that voice. It was the mean girl, Dania. I walked faster. Snow slushed into my sneakers. My toes were cold. Too cold. I needed to take off my shoes and socks.
“Slow down! Where you goin’?” That was also a voice I knew. It was the mean boy Stu. He was worse than Dania. He would hit me in gym class. He locked me in a bathroom stall last week and I missed my classes.
I cried and yelled but no one came to get me.
No one found me until after school let out. My mom was mad. She went and spoke to the principal. The principal said he’d do something.
Stu was still mean to me.
Now he was worse.
I was scared. I didn’t want them to walk with me.
“Freaky Flyyynn,” another voice sing-songed and I stopped. Because that was the voice of my friend. Ellie. She liked me. She came to my house almost every day and we played with Marty and ate Mom’s banana bread.
Mom told me she wasn’t a good friend. That if she was mean to me at school then she didn’t really like me. I got angry when Mom said that and broke the mirror in my bedroom. Mom started to cry and then I felt sad. I hated it when my mom cried.
I turned around and was happy to see Ellie. She was smiling too but it looked weird. I didn’t like that smile.
“Hi, Ellie,” I said. I pulled my gloves off and dropped them in the snow. I started rubbing my hands. Running my fingers along my skin. I didn’t like the cold. Up and down. Over and over again.
“You didn’t answer my question, Freaky. Where ya headed?” Stu asked. He wasn’t wearing a coat. Wasn’t he cold?
“Home,” I told him.
“Home? Well why don’t we walk with you to make sure you get there safely. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to our good buddy Freaky on the way,” Dania said.
That was nice of them. Maybe they wanted to be my friends now. Maybe they’d want to hang out like Ellie did. Maybe then she would talk to me in school and they’d let me eat my lunch.
That made me happy so I nodded.
“You can come to my house,” I said.
Ellie was frowning. She looked mad.
“Let’s go, guys. We’re supposed to meet Shane and Reggie at the diner,” Ellie said. Why didn’t she want to come to my house with Dania and Stu?
“No, Ells, we’re going with Freaky. We have to escort him home. It’s our civic duty, ya know,” Dania smiled at me again and I smiled back.
