I had cared about Flynn. So much.
It had scared me. I was terrified to feel anything for anyone. I had spent most of my life shutting everyone out. I hadn’t a defense against a quiet boy who was just as lost as I was. I had opened up.
I had let him in.
And then I had pushed him away in the only way I could.
By destroying him.
And in doing so I had destroyed a part of myself that had only started to flourish in the warmth of his affection.
And these feelings hardened and solidified, freezing my heart and numbed me to everything. Then I had only survived. Only existed.
Until he had reappeared in my life.
I had hated Flynn Hendrick for so damn long that I was almost hollow without it. My hatred had warmed me, kept me going. Even if it had been ill placed and unreasonable. But now, seeing him again, with the eyes of someone older and perhaps a bit wiser, I couldn’t hide behind illogical emotions.
Things had started to change for me the minute he walked into JAC’s with his shuffling feet and awkward smile.
“Look at him, Ells. He’s still so weird! Isn’t his brain messed up or something? Isn’t that what you told me?” Dania was gaping at Flynn like a fish.
“He has Asperger’s, Dania. It’s not like he’s brain dead or something,” I said with irritation.
Dania snorted and took a drink of her soda. “Well he acts brain dead. Look at him. He just acts like a freak.” Something lit up in Dania’s eyes that only meant trouble.
“Maybe we should invite him over. I could use a good laugh,” Dania snickered.
What the hell was wrong with her? We weren’t fifteen with ignorant youth as an excuse.
“Just leave him alone, Dania,” I said harshly.
Dania swatted the back of my hand and grinned. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Promise.” How many times had she said that before and we had ended up in the worst trouble imaginable?
“Flynn!” Dania called out, waving her arm over her head, trying to get his attention. I didn’t want to look, but I couldn’t help it.
Flynn glanced our way and caught sight of Dania flinging her hand about.
He ignored her and I had to chuckle at my friend’s agitation.
“He is so rude!” she complained.
Before I could stop her, Dania was up and out of the booth, heading toward Flynn. I got to my feet and hurried behind her. The last thing I wanted was for her to cause a scene. She had a short fuse these days and Flynn and his perceived disrespect would definitely trigger it.
“Freaky! It’s so good to see you again! Isn’t it, Ells?” Dania said, winking at me and biting her bottom lip so she wouldn’t laugh.
I felt like I had jumped into a time machine and transported back seven years. Dania hadn’t matured much in the years since graduation. In fact, since her pregnancy, I felt as though she had backtracked to near infancy.
She was playing schoolyard mind games and I didn’t want anything to do with it.
“Come on Dania, Emily’s going to be bringing us our food soon,” I used my best no nonsense tone in hopes she would listen.
“I just wanted to talk to Freaky Flynn. We used to be buddies right?” Dania slung her arm around Flynn’s waist and he stiffened instantly.
“Don’t touch me,” he demanded, moving out of her hold.
“Come on. I just want a friendly hug.” Dania reached for him again and he threw his arms out to stop her, knocking over a napkin dispenser, sending it crashing to the floor.
The diner became deathly quiet. Everyone was watching their exchange with vivid interest.
