I had lost everything because of that unusual man and I was beginning to think he had no idea.
I had held onto my bitterness and anger for so long it had become a part of me. If I let it go I wasn’t sure what I’d be left with.
My anger had kept me strong. It kept me whole. It was part of the person I had become.
As I talked with Flynn in his moonlit yard, I felt the snarls of my rage loosen and fade away.
It had everything to do with the way he spoke to me. The way he had me reminiscing. The way he had reminded me of the girl I had been. One that wasn’t angry. That wasn’t bitter.
He made me remember a lonely girl who had been drawn to a sad boy and had found comfort in him.
I had to push him away. It’s what I did. It’s how I ensured my continued survival. It’s how I protected my heart. I had to destroy the renewed connection before it had a chance to destroy me.
Keeping my distance seemed the only real way to do that. But it also felt like a coward’s way out.
And if I knew anything, it was that Ellie McCallum was no coward.
After class, I gathered my things and walked with purposeful strides across the manicured lawns.
“I see you found your way to class.” I stopped and turned to see the sunburned girl walking in the same direction I was headed.
Her brown hair was now in matted dreads down her back and her sunburn had faded into a healthy, golden brown.
“Guess so,” I responded, not in the mood for superficial conversation. The girl was clearly not tuned into subtle cues because she fell into step beside me. I gave her the ubiquitous once over and rolled my eyes. She was obviously of the pseudo hippie persuasion with patched jeans and dirty toes peeping over the edges of her battered Birkenstocks. Just give the girl a second hand guitar and the look would be complete.
“Is this your first year?” she asked and I thought about ignoring her. I hadn’t come to school to make friends. Hell, I could barely tolerate the ones I had, so I wasn’t looking to acquire any new ones. And small talk would invariably lead to conversation, which would end up in invitations to hang out and expectations to develop a relationship I wasn’t interested in beginning.
But some strange compulsion had me answering her honestly. “Yeah. It is. You?” Shit, why had I asked her that? Now she would think I was interested in anything she had to say.
“Nope. I’m a second year. I plan to transfer out of here in the spring. Get my Bachelor’s. Do something with my life, ya know?”
No I didn’t know. But I didn’t tell her that. No sense in unloading my lack of forward planning with a girl who obviously hadn’t washed her hair in a while.
I didn’t respond and we fell into silence. Awkward for me, easy and comfortable for her.
“I’m Kara Baker,” she said, offering her name in the same tone you offer a cigarette. Unbothered. Noncommittal. Whatever.
I nodded and kept quiet. She laughed after a few minutes. “Am I supposed to guess yours? Because I’m really bad at that shit.” Her rich laugh had me smiling in spite of myself.
Whether I wanted to or not, I kind of liked this chick.
“Ellie McCallum,” I answered.
“Ellie. That’s a cool name. Is it short for something? Eleanor maybe? Elvira? I know it’s Elora!”
I smirked and shook my head.
“Nope, just plain ole Ellie.”
“Plain my ass. You’ve got the whole tortured lone wolf thing going on. There are probably all kinds of crazy shit going on with you.”
“Not exactly,” I mumbled, the momentary softening I had felt already freezing over. I was officially done playinglet’s get to know each other.
“There’s a story there. I can feel it,” Kara teased but I wasn’t in the mood for teasing.
“Nope, no story. Look I’ve gotta go,” I said abruptly. Without waiting for her response, I picked up the speed and hurried ahead. I heard her call something after me but this time I went with my first instinct and ignored her.
I pushed through a door I had only been through one other time and silently moved down the almost empty corridor until I found myself standing outside the large windows looking into the art studio.
