I didn’t expect an acceptance. The several others I had already received were what I had anticipated. Rejection. I was all too familiar with it.
But this one felt different.
There was some weight to it.
Did I dare to believe again?
Or was it time to finally let my dreams go?
Fate obviously had other plans.
With trembling fingers, I tore open the letter. The envelope fell to the floor and I didn’t even bother to pick it up. It was a packet of information. A glossy brochure showing pretty manicured lawns and impressive brick buildings stared back at me. I pulled the letter with my name to the top of the pile, my eyes skimming its contents.
Congratulations! It is my pleasure to inform you…
What?
I blinked several times, almost certain my eyes were playing tricks on me and I read it again. The words didn’t change.
I had been accepted to the College of Baltimore. In Maryland. Over three hundred miles away.
I could barely breathe.
It seemed almost cruel to hand me something like this at a time when it felt that it was impossible to take.
I shoved the packet of information back into the pile of mail and closed the door to my post office box. I walked back across the street, feeling both heavy and light at the same time.
I walked into the apartment surprised to find Dania up and making herself something to eat.
“Hey, you!” Dania called out with more energy than I had heard from her in months.
“Hey,” I called back, walking into the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I asked, curious about what she was stirring around in the pot on the stove.
“I’m making soup. I was hungry and I figured I’d make enough for both of us. Want some?” she asked, smiling.
“Uh, sure,” I replied, wondering what was going on. Dania had barely gotten out of her pajamas in ages and now she was standing in my kitchen making freaking soup.
Dania ladled some into a bowl and handed it to me. I held it like it was a ticking time bomb. Thoughtful Dania made me nervous.
We took our soup into the living room and sat down on the couch.
“I saw Brandon yesterday,” she said, her face guarded but her eyes gave everything away. I saw a peaceful contentment there I had never seen from her before.
“You did?” I asked, shocked. I had been at school and then worked most of the evening. When I had finally gotten home, Dania had already been in bed. But she hadn’t mentioned a thing all week about going to see him. I had long since grown convinced that she had no plans to ever see her son. The service plan paperwork still sat in its envelope on the counter, unopened.
Dania nodded. “He’s going to be released from the NICU tomorrow. I’ve been talking to Randa, his foster care worker, and she had suggested I go to see him. I didn’t want to at first. But she convinced me it would be good for me. She picked me up yesterday morning and took me to Barkley.”
“How was he?” I asked, hardly able to believe what I was hearing.
“He was tiny and perfect and absolutely beautiful,” she said softly.
“Does this mean you’ll do the stuff in your service plan? That you’re going to work to get him back?” I asked.
Dania put her bowl down on the coffee table and brought her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.
“No, I’m not,” she said.
