I wrenched him around to look at me. “No, you didn’t! You sure as hell didn’t tell me that you pulled a knife! On your parents! Are you fucking crazy?” I shrieked at him.
Okay, bad choice of words. Clay pulled my hand off his arm. “Yes, Maggie! I amfucking crazy! Everyone thinks it, so it must be true!” he yelled back at me. I blanched at his words and started backing away from him. His face dropped and he raked his fingers through his hair in agitation.
“I want to go home, Clay. This is all so messed up! We can’t do this!” I implored him, collapsing on the park bench and covering my face with my hands.
Clay came to sit beside me and pulled my hands down. He held them tightly in his and looked at me with the most desolate expression I had ever seen.
“I can’t go home. Not now. I know I screwed up. I let things get out of control. But they weren’t listening to me! Theyneverlisten to me! Because none of this was ever about me. It was all about my parents and how much of an embarrassment I am.” His voice cracked.
I softened at seeing him like this. I reached out and touched his cheek, lingering. “What about Ruby and Lisa? Can’t they help?” I asked desperately.
Clay barked out a laugh that sounded almost maniacal. “Uh, no. My parents threatened to have Ruby charged with contributing to the delinquency or something. I’m not sure how they could charge her with anything. But if anyone knows how to bend the law to get what they want, it’s my parents.”
God, I hated those people. Clay clung to my hand. “They just wouldn’t stop. They told me I was useless and a liability. That I was... deranged. That I wasn’t fit to be in normal society.” Clay’s voice cut off on a ragged breath. His parents had broken him. How could they say such horrible things to their son, when he deserved so much more?
“So, yeah. I was angry. I felt trapped and needed to get out of there. So I grabbed a knife off of the counter and pointed it at them and told them I was leaving.” I gasped. Clay arched his eyebrow. “A butter knife, Maggie. It was a fucking butter knife.”
A butter knife? Really? They were pressing charges over a butter knife? This was ludicrous!
I couldn’t stop the laugh that crept up out of my throat. And suddenly I was laughing. An insane sort of laughter. I couldn’t stop. After a startled moment, Clay joined me and we were both laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Finally we were able to calm down and Clay sobered instantly. “Do you see why I can’t go back there? They won’t leave me alone! I’ll never have a life. They want me out of the way. And now they’ve involved the police, I’ll be locked away for sure. There’s nothing you, or me, or anyone, can do about it. I just have to disappear.” He seemed so sure and I was tempted to be swayed by his logic.
Clay kissed the corner of my mouth. “I understand if this is too much for you. If you want to go home, I won’t stop you. You have to do what’s right foryou. Not for me,” he said softly, his eyes full of sadness and love for me.
He was giving me an out. I appreciated that he was trying to be selfless. But after everything, all that I had sacrificed to be with him, there was no way in hell I’d let anyone take him from me. Despite my misgivings and the red flags that continued to go up all over the place, I was firm in my resolve to stand by him.
“I can’t leave you. Not now, not ever,” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his. One way or the other I had to make things right for him. I didn’t have any sort of a plan. The only one I had was to ride things out here. Just a few more days and I’d figure something out.
“God, I need you so much.” Clay’s voice broke and he pulled me to him and sat on the bench, taking me with him so that I was straddling him. His mouth pressed against mine and he nibbled mercilessly at my bottom lip. I groaned into his mouth as I wiggled closer to him.
“Fuck, Maggie,” he whispered, wrenching my shirt out of my pants and moving his hands up the front of my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him with all the pain and desire I felt. His hands cupped my breasts and kneaded the skin roughly.
The cold night air whipped around us but all I could feel was the heat being generated between us, the feel of him hard underneath his jeans.
“I need to be inside you. Now!” he gasped as he rubbed my nipples between his fingers.
“But we’re outside, in a park. I don’t know...” I suddenly felt self-conscious. Anyone could come up on us like this. Yet the park seemed to be deserted. And wewereshielded from view by the trees.
“No one will see. Please,” he begged, unbuttoning my pants and pulling down the zipper, his fingers slipping underneath the edge of my panties, finding me wet and ready.
“Clay,” I groaned as his fingers slipped inside me, a tantalizing tease. I frantically unzipped his jeans, rolling them down so that they released him. Clay sucked in a breath and shoved my pants down my hips.
He was being rough and desperate. Not at all like the gentle lovemaking we had had before. His lips were hot and pressed hard against my neck as I shrugged out of my pants. The chill around us made goose bumps break out all over my bare legs.
I barely registered the sound of ripping foil, and then Clay lifted me up and shoved my underwear aside, settling me down on top of him, plunging deep into my body. I gasped at the suddenness of it.
“More. I need more of you,” Clay pleaded as he jerked his hips upward, while pulling me down against him as he held my hips tightly. His fingers dug into my flesh as he moved me up and down over him, piercing me deeply.
“Oh, my God!” I groaned as I wrapped my legs tighter, pushing us as close together as we could go. Clay pulled me hard against him, his lips leaving wet trails along my neck and shoulders. He bit down on my skin as I ground against him, the feel of him deep inside me causing the familiar burn to build up in my belly.
“Don’t leave me! Ever!” he rasped in my ear, sucking the lobe as we rocked into each other with a frantic pace that both scared and thrilled me. My knees slammed into the metal of the bench and I barely registered the pain as I fell apart around him. After a few more moments of punishing thrusts, I felt Clay release inside me.
It was at that moment that I realized what we had done. I couldn’t believe I had let us have sex in a park. In the middle of town. That was right up there as one of the stupidest and riskiest things I had ever done.
I collapsed against Clay and he held me tightly, running his fingers through my hair as we tried to get control over our breathing again.
The cold wind finally broke through the postcoital haze and I moved off of Clay’s lap, feeling his wetness between my legs. I scooped up my discarded pants and hastily put them back on.
