Jake looked between Clay and me with concern. “Are you sure everything’s okay?” he asked me softly. Clay moved forward again and I wasn’t sure I could stop him from escalating the situation if Jake didn’t leave.
“I’m fine,” I said, my eyes pleading with Jake to just get the hell out of there. Jake’s face clouded as he looked at Clay.
“Okay. Well, see ya.” He waved at Rachel and Daniel and then hightailed it out of there.
“What is your problem?” Daniel asked, clearly pissed by Clay’s behavior toward his friend. Clay ignored the question, turning his rage on me.
“What the hell was that?” he hissed at me, his eyes full of anger and accusation.
“Nothing. He’s just a friend. Calm down, all right? You’re making a scene.” I glanced at the tables around us and realized everyone was watching our exchange like it was the goddamnJerry Springer Show.
I tried to put my hand on Clay’s arm, hoping physical contact would break through this rage of his. He backed away from me as if I had a contagious disease.
“You let him touch you! You fucking let him touch you!” he yelled in my face. My skin flushed with embarrassment. You’d think I’d been caught having sex with another guy or something! Clay’s reaction was ridiculous!
“Enough, Clay! Back off!” Rachel had come around the table and pulled me away from my boyfriend. Clay looked down at Rachel, his dark eyes simmering.
“Fine. I’m backing off. I’m backing the hell out of here.” He grabbed his bag and stormed out of the cafeteria.
I was painfully aware of the silence around us. I wanted to curl into a tiny ball of mortification. “That was bullshit, Mags. I’m gonna kick his ass for treating you like that,” Daniel fumed.
“No, Danny. He’s just stressed. It’ll be all right. Don’t hold it against him. Please!” I begged. Daniel stared at me as if I were talking in another language.
Rachel looked at me with concern. “I don’t like this, Maggie. The way Clay acted wasn’t normal.”
Normal. Ha! If Rachel even knew the half of it. I smiled weakly, hoping to placate them.
“No, everything will be fine. Come on, you guys would be pissed if you saw someone flirting with your boyfriend or girlfriend. He was just surprised, is all,” I reasoned unconvincingly.
Daniel looked unswayed. “No, I can’t say I’ve ever had that sort of reaction before. I swear, if he ever puts a hand on you...”
I cut him off. “That’s enough, Danny. Clay would never hurt me.”
“There are more ways to hurt someone than that, Mags,” Rachel said quietly as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I felt sick to my stomach because I knew she was right.
I wasn’t sure if Clay would wait for me after school to give me a ride home. I wished I had brought my car that morning. But I stupidly altered my entire routine to grasp at the tiny moments of time in his company. I was upset and angry and more than a little disgusted by the fact that I was becoming so dependent on our time together.
I hadn’t seen him the rest of the day and my heart hurt when I thought about how angry he had been. Rachel had tried talking to me about it a few more times but I shut her down, refusing to discuss it with her.
I knew she and Daniel only cared about me, but their worry irritated me. They had no idea what Clay went through every day. How hard it was for him to just get by. They didn’t see how beautiful and perfect we were together.
They just didn’t get it.
“You want me to give you a ride home?” Danny asked as he waited for me by my locker at the end of the day. I still hadn’t seen Clay, but I didn’t want to spend the next fifteen minutes rehashing the state of my relationship with either of my best friends.
“Nah. I’m sure Clay is just waiting by the car,” I told him, slamming the locker door closed.
Daniel grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I’m not sure you should go anywhere with him. I knew I was right when I thought that guy was unstable. Maybe you need to just stay the hell away from him.”
I snatched my hand back. “Shut up, Danny. He isnotunstable. He got a little jealous. It’s not a big deal! Don’t you dare stand there and judge him! I’ve seen you do some pretty stupid things over Kylie. So just give him a break!” I said coldly. Daniel looked as if I had slapped him. I had gone from never raising my voice at him to snapping at him all the time.
I felt the strain in our friendship and I hated it. But I would be damned if I would stand there and justify my feelings for Clay to him or to anyone. “That’s not fair. I have never blown my lid like that and you know it,” Daniel reasoned.
I sighed, letting my shoulders drop. “Maybe you’ve just never cared enough about anyone to feel the way Clay does about me.” I sounded like an idiot; even I knew that. But I knew that Clay cared about me pretty damn deeply, even if I also knew on some level that that didn’t give him an excuse to act the way he had.
“Well, that’s a shitty way of showing someone you care, if you ask me,” Daniel quipped, following me out the door and onto the sidewalk outside of the school. I stopped and turned around, wrapping my arms around Danny in a hug.
“I appreciate your concern. I love you so much for it. But trust me when I tell you that everything will be fine. Clay and I will work it out and I can’t have you being all big brother around me all the time. I want the two of you to get along. You’re two of the most important people in my life. So, please, for me... just let it go,” I pleaded.
