“What?” I barked after I answered.
“Jeez. Who pissed in your cornflakes?” Rachel’s testy voice asked on the other end. I took a steadying breath and tried to calm the frantic beat of my heart. I looked back over at Clay but he had turned away from me.
“Sorry, Rache. What do you need?” I tried to not sound as agitated as I felt.
“I was just calling to see what time you wanted me to pick you up tonight,” she said, still sounding miffed at my earlier attitude.
“You’re not going with Daniel? I thought you guys were riding over together,” I asked, already fearing the answer. Daniel must have bailed on her, hence her prickliness. Confirming my thoughts, Rachel told me that he had called an hour ago and said he’d be taking Kylie to the party. Rachel sounded so dejected that I wanted to call Daniel and ream him out. I was sick of him doing this to her. Even if he was my other best friend, it didn’t mean I had to sit by and watch him be so thoughtless all the time.
I didn’t comment on Daniel’s ass-itude, knowing that it wouldn’t help Rachel feel better. “Hold on,” I told her, covering the mouthpiece with my hand.
“Hey, Clay,” I whispered. Clay turned around, not really meeting my eyes. His expression was cold. Great, he was totally regretting our little moment earlier. Whatever—I could play the I-don’t-care game with the best of them.
“Do you want to ride with me and Rachel?”
Clay shrugged. “I can just meet you guys there. Don’t worry about me,” he said, turning back around, walls firmly in place. His earlier nerve seemed to have taken a backseat to his need to stay away from me. I suppressed a sigh and returned to my conversation with Rachel.
“Eight thirty good for you?” I asked her, trying to sound more upbeat. The truth was I was bummed that Clay wouldn’t be going to the party with me. Sure, he’d said he’d meet us there, but that’s not the same as actually arriving together.
“Sounds fab. I’ll see you then.” And, with that, Rachel hung up. I put my phone on the table and picked up my jacket. Jamming my arms through the sleeves, I roughly zipped it up with an annoyed huff. Clay turned at the noise and looked surprised.
“You leaving already?” he asked me. I met his eyes defiantly. I was hurt by his attitude after our near kiss minutes earlier. Maybe I was setting all my hopes on something that most certainly wouldn’t happen. But it didn’t stop the sting. I just wanted to get out of there, put some space between me and this moody boy whom I felt I would never understand.
Clay’s face softened, as if he were reading my thoughts. “Okay, then,” he said quietly, taking a small step toward me. I stood my ground, not moving toward or away from him.
“Guess I’ll see you tonight. You’re not going to bail at the last minute, are you?” I asked him, frustrated by the needy note in my voice.
“No, I’ll be there. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” he said with his ironic smile. I didn’t smile back, my feelings still hurt too much.
I turned away and walked toward the door. “See you then,” I called over my shoulder, refusing to show how badly I wantedthatmoment to happen. How much I wanted him to call me back, pull me into his arms, and kiss me senseless. When did I become this gooey romantic? When did I become freaking Rachel? I shuddered.
“Maggie.” He stopped me with the sound of my name on his lips. I didn’t turn around and he made no move to come any closer. Every second that passed amped up the angst level to an unbearable degree. Did he realize how much I wanted him? Needed him with a passion that scared me? Or was he a dolt just like Daniel?
Clay cleared his throat. “I can’t wait to see you tonight,” he said, almost strangling on his words. My cheeks flushed hot. I nodded again with my back to him, and left.
Dolt it was.
Once outside with the door firmly closed behind me, I sagged. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep up this “friendship.” Not when I wanted so much more. I’d never experienced anything like the crazy feelings that Clayton stirred up inside of me and I didn’t know what to do about it. There had been about thirty seconds there when I just knew he wanted the same thing I did, before the window slammed shut.
Was I expecting too much too fast? Maybe I was being pushy and inconsiderate about Clay’s feelings and needs. Should I back off and let him come to me when he was ready? As great and thoughtful as that all sounded, it so wasn’t me. I wasn’t one to sit back and wait for shit to happen. So that’s why this whole will-they/won’t-they thing was exhausting. But I didn’t want to give up. Clay was worth more than that. Our friendship was something special and I couldn’t ruin it.
I chuckled to myself and I headed home. Damn it if Daniel hadn’t been right (not that I wouldevertell him that). He had told me that one day I would get what all the fuss was about, and that day had just arrived.
chapter
seven
“it’s packed! I don’t even recognize half of these people,” I whined as Rachel and I parked my Corolla in the field behind Melissa James’s house. Rachel pulled the visor down and touched up her lip gloss and fluffed her hair.
“Awesome! I’m down with meeting some new people tonight,” she said, pulling on her pink cardigan.
I was less enthusiastic about getting out of the car. The thing I had always liked about Melissa’s parties was that they were usually tame and relatively controlled, with no more than eighty or so people. I could relax and hang out without dealing with drunken idiots trying to cop a feel. If I was going to be groped, it would be on my terms only.
But this party was heaving. There were at least a hundred cars parked in the field and crowds of people dancing and drinking out of Solo cups around the humongous bonfire. “Get out of the car, Mags. Let’s go mingle.” I ran a brush through my limp hair and finally gave up and pulled it back in a ponytail.
“Uh-uh,” Rachel said, pulling the tie out. She hated it when I wore my hair back, telling me I was so much prettier with it down. She threw the hair tie out the window.
“Rachel!” I yelled. But she was already moving away, toward the huge fire leaping against the dark sky.
