They had learned that duty trumped everything else. It was one of the first lessons you became schooled in.
“There’s more to learning then reading from some old book,” Bastian continued. He was speaking blasphemy. I should scold him. I should tell him to leave. He was a bad influence. The children needed to stay on their path.
A path that they never agreed to…
A memory hit me like a freight train. Of sitting silently during a sermon. Of hating every second I spent on the cold, hard floor. I wasn’t allowed to move. I wasn’t allowed to speak. I had to stay completely still.Because it was God’s will.
And when I stared too long out the window at a pair of doves in the tree building a nest, my mother pinching my arm until the skin bruised. I was sent to The Refuge for three hours after that. Tears were useless so I didn’t bother with them.
I learned to follow the path. But only through fear of getting in trouble. Fear of being locked in a tiny room with no windows.
Fear of the cold look in Pastor Carter’s eyes when I disappointed him.
I didn’t want the kids to feel that dread.
I really didn’t.
I may be the perfect disciple—Pastor Carter’s chosen favorite—but that came at a cost. And it was a price these children didn’t have to pay. Not yet.
There was time for them to find their way.
If they wanted to…
I tucked the Bible into the deep pocket of my skirt. “Okay then. What should we do with our hour then?”
There was a whole minute of stunned silence. Anne stared at me as though I had morphed into something alien. The kids’ eyes went wide as saucers.
And Bastian…
He stared at me with something in his eyes that made my stomach flip and tumble.
“No ideas then?” I asked, clearing my throat.
They all started talking at once. Though not too loudly. We all knew better than to be overheard.
They jumped to their feet, crowding around Bastian, the catalyst for the change in their routine. They knew who to thank for the freedom they had been granted.
I felt the sting of guilt. But it had nothing to do with ignoring my obligation and everything to do with following it doggedly.
“Bastian, will you help me find more caterpillars?” Rosie asked. Dakota and BB asked him to show them what Poison Ivy looked like. Pia, Darlene Winslow, and Liam Powers asked if he could help them build a stick fort.
Bastian held up his hands and they all went instantly quiet, their hands folded demurely in front of them. Perfect little disciples. He looked bothered by the sight in front of him but quickly covered his reaction. “How about we do something as a group? All together. Who here has played hide and seek?”
Several hands shot up in the air as if they were in school. Rosie clung to Bastian’s arm, looking up at him. “Will you help me? I’ve never played before,” she whispered loudly.
He knelt down so they were on eye level. “Of course, I will,” he promised her and she smiled. Bastian turned to Anne and me. “Why don’t we split the group up. Anne take one half, Sara, you take the other. Don’t go too far.”
“That’s a given,” I deadpanned.
He smirked as though he appreciated my response. I suspected he liked giving me a hard time.
“Rosie, should we seek first?” he asked the small girl, who nodded vigorously. He looked at the rest of the kids, who were practically bouncing with excitement. “Okay, the rules are, go with your adult to find a hiding place. Nothing too hard for the first time. The object of the game is to get back here to this log before Rosie and I find you. We’ll count, giving you time to find a hiding place.” He sat down on the ground with Rosie, who he instructed to cover her eyes. “Let’s count to fifty. Can you do that?” he asked her.
She hung her head. “I can only count to twenty.”
He patted her hand. “That’s okay. I’ll help.” He covered his eyes with his hands and Rosie did the same. “Okay guys, I’m going to start counting.”
Anne and I quickly split the group. I took Liam and Dakota, while Anne took Pia, Darlene, and BB. The boys laughed quietly as we hurried into the woods, trying to find a place to hide.
