“How are you finding things, Bastian?” Pastor Carter asked, his hawkish gaze zeroed in on his newest follower.
Bastian lifted his shoulders slightly. “It’s great.”
Pastor Carter nodded. “David seems happy.”
Bastian’s mouth tightened. Just slightly. I wasn’t sure Pastor noticed.
I noticed.
“Yes. He seems happy,” Bastian agreed, though the admittance seemed to pain him for some reason. Isn’t that what he wanted? For his brother to be happy?
Pastor Carter turned to me after a few seconds. “Don’t dawdle. It’s time to prepare breakfast, Sara.”
I felt as though he had chastised me. Though I wasn’t sure why.
“Of course, Pastor. I’m coming right away,” I assured him.
Pastor looked from me to Bastian. “Good.” Then he smiled a bit kinder. “I like this dress. You have such a way with needlework, Sara.” He ran a finger along the hem of my sleeve. “God blesses us with talents when we please him.”
I felt warm from the compliment. It battled against the chill in my bones. “Thank you, Pastor.”
Pastor Carter looked at Bastian again but said nothing else. He turned and walked towards home.
Bastian’s expression was strange. And he didn’t say anything for a long minute as if contemplating whether to speak.
“We need to head back to The Retreat. I have to help the others with breakfast.” I reached out to pull a branch aside that blocked the path.
“It’s beautiful,” Bastian said. He wasn’t looking at me any longer, but instead stood at the edge, staring out over the sunlit valley. It was hard to look at him. The sun blinded me. Dark spots swam in front of my eyes.
“I can almost see why you come out here every morning.” He let out a long, heavy sigh. “He makes it look so easy, doesn’t he? Giving up everything forthis.”
I moved back towards the cliff. I would get in trouble for being late. It was my job to serve the meal that morning. “We need to get back, Bastian. It’s time for breakfast.”
Bastian glanced back at me. “Yeah I guess we do. But can we wait a minute? I’m actually enjoying this.” He gestured for me to come over. “Come on. Just one minute. The company might be nice.” He smiled again. I didn’t smile back. My lips felt frozen. But I didn’t leave as I should have.
The air was beginning to warm up and the sky was a gorgeous blue. It felt like the first true summer morning. When I was younger I would sneak time during the day to play in the woods. I’d enjoy the good weather. Now that I was older, my time was accounted for. I had so few free moments.
What would it hurt to linger for a while? I pushed up the long sleeves of my dress, finding the material too heavy for the mild morning.
“Just a few minutes. I really do need to get back.”
Bastian sat down on the very edge of the cliff, dangling his legs over the side. “Sit down. Please.”
“It’s a little dangerous, isn’t it?” I asked, my voice shaking slightly. I couldn’t look down. I was getting dizzy being so close to the drop off.
Bastian held his hand up. “You’ll be fine. I promise.”
I ignored his hand as I slowly, carefully, sank down. But I wouldn’t put my legs over the edge. That was absolute craziness. I sat a few feet back. It still felt too close.
Bastian took the hint and scooched back so that he sat beside me, crossing his legs beneath him.
I willed my nerves to calm down. I had never stayed behind after The Sun’s Morning Blessing before. And I never came to the cliff unless it was with everyone. Never alone. Not like this.
“It’s fucking gorgeous, isn’t it?” Bastian exclaimed. I glared at his use of language. He gave me a crooked grin. “Sorry, I have a bit of a potty mouth.”
The wind stirred my hair, strands sticking to my dry lips. “To answer your question, yes, it is gorgeous.”
Bastian leaned back on his hands, crossing his legs out in front of him. “I can’t pretend to understand why you come out here every morning and chant to the sun like a bunch of natives. But I can understand why you’d want to be out at this time of day. It reminds you there’s a big, beautiful world out there, ready to be discovered.”
