Pastor Carter was a great speaker. He had a fire that was appealing. A faith that was hard to ignore. If a sane person didn’t listen to the exact nature of the bullshit he was preaching, then you could enjoy the passionate fakery he spewed.
But he was a fraud. A dangerous fraud. I could see that clear as day. He slammed his hands onto the table in front of him and lamented the loss of innocence. He cried about the evils taking over the world, wiping away everything in a toxic sea of technology and war. He swore the only way to save yourself was to follow the path he laid out for you. To hand your fate over to a man who promised to cleanse you. To nurture you. To walk you forward into the light of the sun.
He was all doom and gloom paired with the barest sliver of hope.
And this is where he hooked David. Because my brother was a man desperate for hope.
“You can’t give this guy all your money,” I argued, trying to make David see sense. To see reality. To see something that wasn’t fantasy disguised as religion.
“Why? I don’t need it,” David responded despondently. He was sitting in his room, eyes glued to Pastor Carter’s face. Listening to words I wished like hell he’d ignore.
“Of course, you do, dumbass. You need to eat. You need to pay bills.” I was getting angry. I tried not to. But David’s blasé attitude was pissing me off.
“I’m going to The Retreat,” was his answer.
“The Retreat? You going to a spa, D?” I joked. I tried to make him laugh. Trying to elicit some sort of response that would let me know my brother was still in there somewhere. That beneath the shattered exterior was the heart of someone I recognized.
I got nothing.
“The Retreat is where they are. It’s whereheis.”
He spoke as if this pastor was the Messiah. As if he was God himself on Earth.
I knew then what it meant to be completely terrified. Because I wasn’t going to alter David’s decision. I had no control over the future he had set for himself.
I was an audience to my brother’s tragedy and there was nothing I could do about it.
His mind was set. He was leaving. Going to live in some backwoods commune with a certifiable cult.
To say my parents weren’t happy was an understatement. Mom used tears to try to stop him. Dad used threats.
I, on the other hand, was tasked to fix it.
“He’s not in his right mind. Those people will take advantage of him. They’re stealing his money. Stealing hislife!” Dad growled over dinner. David was in his room sleeping.
All he did was sleep. And when he wasn’t sleeping he was watching those stupid videos.
“He’s a damn fool,” Dad shouted, unable to control his temper.
“Nick, he’s not a fool. He’s sick,” Mom chastised while shushing her husband. She grabbed my hand. “He says he’s leaving at the end of the month. What are we going to do?”
“I’ll lock him in his room. I’ll call the FBI! There has to be something they can do!” Dad announced and I wanted to roll my eyes.
“You can’t lock him up, Nicholas. He’s a grown man. As for the FBI, we’d be wasting their time,” Mom pointed out, her lips trembling.
“If he’s an adult, he needs to act like one. And that means not running off to join up with a bunch of weirdos—”
“I’ll go with him,” I cut in.
Mom gaped at me. “You can’t do that, Bastian. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s not, Mom. I’ll go and I’ll talk him out of this crazy idea he has. I’ll get him to come home.” I had believed I could do it. That spending one on one time with David away from Mom and Dad would be all I needed to get him to see reason. Perhaps I overestimated the bond I shared with my brother.
Dad and Mom had looked shocked. They argued half-heartedly, but in the end, they agreed I would go with David to Virginia. And it was up to me to make him come around.
My parents looked relieved.
I could tell they liked this new side of me. This responsible side.
