Clearly no one had informed them of the severe dress code. They stood out like an obscenity in their loud colors in a sea of white uniformity.
Pastor Carter approached them, and like the night they arrived, David seemed to cling to everything he was saying. His eyes never left our leader’s face. Bastian nodded at whatever they were being told. Pastor clasped his shoulder and I thought I could see him tense. When Pastor Carter turned away, Bastian said something to David, whose expression became angry. There seemed to be an exchange of terse words before the brothers made their way to a spot beneath a tree. They settled on the grass, backs against the thick trunk. For Bastian it seemed a protective measure. Them against us.
I watched the younger Scott brother closely the entire time. His presence in the otherwise docile Devotional circle felt unsettling.
Minnie made a noise of disappointment. “I was hoping they’d be cuter,” she pouted. “Though I guess the one in the blue shirt is okay. He has nice shoulders. And he has one of those Roman noses. Long and straight.” She smoothed her hair and pinched her cheeks. Stafford scowled.
Anne cocked her head to the side and regarded the newest members of our flock. “I don’t know, the one in the camo has something about him…” Her voice trailed off and then she cleared her throat and sat up a little straighter, with a strained smile. “And the younger one is interesting to look at,” she added quickly, as if in a rush.
No one noticed my best friend’s strange behavior but me.
Stafford rolled his eyes, obviously still irritated by Minnie’s waning attention. “He looks pissed off. And the older one is clearly deranged. Like he’s going to kill us all in our sleep. What was Pastor Carter thinking letting them in the gate?”
“He doesn’t look deranged,” Anne argued, staring at the two men who had invaded our world. “He looks sad. I wonder why he’s so sad?”
I grabbed Anne’s hand and squeezed. She closed her mouth, silencing words that shouldn’t be spoken.
She was in dangerous territory. She knew it. I knew it. Minnie, who wasn’t as vacuous as she pretended, knew it too. She smirked at Anne, her eyebrows raised.
“Well whatever he is, he looks like a shooter. We don’t need someone like that here,” Stafford griped.
Minnie gave Stafford a teasing smile. “Jealous they’re getting all the attention, Staff?” He flushed, looking away. Minnie giggled, enjoying herself.
“They look like two guys with a bunch of people staring at them,” Bobbie added with an edge to his voice. He was being incredibly vocal today.
“They could be a little friendlier,” Caitlyn added. “Why are they sitting over there all by themselves?” She chewed on her bottom lip nervously. She turned to me, wanting my opinion. “You’ve spoken to them, Sara, what are they like?”
Everyone looked at me expectantly.
“I know as much about them as you do. Besides, Pastor Carter wouldn’t have let them in if they weren’t meant to be disciples,” I reminded them primly.
Caitlyn nodded, accepting what I had to say. Minnie and Stafford exchanged a look that I didn’t have to be a mind reader to understand.
Such a kiss ass. Little Miss Perfect. Pastor’s favorite.
I lifted my chin defiantly. Unconsciously mimicking Bastian’s earlier gesture. When I realized what I was doing I forcibly relaxed and exuded a calm I wanted to feel. Their opinion of me didn’t matter, I told myself. I wished I could believe it.
I tried to ignore the presence of the Scotts. Even as our family resumed their quiet contemplation in preparation for the devotional, we were all too aware of the ripple in the current around us.
I couldn’t help myself from following the group’s collective gaze. I didn’t want to be caught staring, but I did it anyway. It had been a long time since we had had new members so everyone was curious about them. But curiosity wasn’t the only reason I looked. There was a persistent buzz beneath my skin. It felt wrong. Oppressive. I could sense Bastian’s disquiet. He disrupted the peaceful harmony Pastor worked so hard to create.
I watched as several people approached them. David barely lifted his head. I didn’t know whether it was shyness or indifference that made him brush the others off. Either way, I couldn’t help but feel compassion for him. I didn’t know David, but there was something fragile about him. Vulnerable. He was a man with a horrible burden. And for that, I understood his brother’s protectiveness.
I turned my attention to Bastian. As much as I didn’t want to. He was something else. He wasn’t fragile. And he certainly wasn’t vulnerable. I could feel his energy—combative, though he was trying hard to hide it. He spoke to each person who greeted them, all the while maintaining a protective barrier between them and his brother. I half expected him to bare his teeth and snarl.
I had encountered a mother bear in the woods once. I had been picking blackberries with Stafford and Minnie but had become separated from them. I was alone when I turned and found the giant animal directly behind me. I had unknowingly gotten too close to two small cubs. The mother bear had risen up on her back legs, roaring loudly. Warning me to run.
When I looked at Bastian, I saw that mama bear. I knew he’d use his claws if anyone threatened David. I imagined he’d be fierce in his loyalty. Unyielding in his protection.
He was a little scary, mostly in that he was an unpredictable variable. And we were a family that thrived on certainty.
Anne was right though. Hewasinteresting to look at. But in a way that had nothing to do with his physical features. I almost wanted to chip away the hostile exterior and expose him for what he really was beneath all that. I had the sense that he didn’t wear this aggression comfortably. As if it were new to him. Heavy and cumbersome. But he bore the mantle anyway, if it meant keeping David safe.
I couldn’t help but respect that. Grudging as it may be.
No one, but myself and Pastor Carter, knew the details of their arrival. All anyone had been told was that one arrival had become two.
I hadn’t told Anne or my mom about Bastian’s pleas to stay. How I suspected that his desire to become a disciple had nothing to do with our teachings and everything to do with the emotionally delicate man he came with.
