Reality waited just beyond the door. Demanding we acknowledge it.
But not yet.
I wasn’t ready.
For now, I wanted to have this tiny slice of perfect.
I rolled onto my stomach, propping my chin on his chest, looking up the man who I knew I loved.
“I liked that thing you did,” I said shyly, not quite meeting his eyes.
Bastian raised his eyebrow. “That thing I did? Can you explain in more detail?” He was teasing me. I could hear his amusement.
I poked him in the side and he laughed. “You know…thatthing.”
I hid my face in mortification, wishing I had kept quiet.
“I need to know more about this thing you enjoyed.” Bastian pulled me up onto his chest, my legs straddling him. I was forced to look at him, my hair in crazy tangles around us as I leaned over him.
“You know what I’m talking about,” I harrumphed, hating how silly I sounded. How inexperienced.
“Baby, don’t look like that,” he said softly.
Baby…
I felt warm at the endearment.
“Like what?” I ducked my head.
He sat up so that we were pressed chest to chest, my legs around his waist. We were fitted together again and I could feel him getting hard beneath me.
He kissed my chin. The tip of my nose. “Like you’re ashamed. Embarrassed. You don’t ever have to feel that way with me. We’ve done nothing wrong. This—” He kissed the hollow of my throat. “Makes all the horrible stuff worth it. I feel like I’ve found that one person who makes living possible.”
“I just feel so young compared to you. Even though I’m eighteen, I don’t know anything…”
Bastian wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight against him. “You know that I love you. You know that I wouldn’t change a thing about who you are. Those are the only things you need to know.”
Thank you, God, for giving me this man…
I melted completely.
Then we were kissing once more. And I wanted him inside me again. I wriggled, not caring that I was sore. Ignoring the twinge of pain as he rubbed against me. He groaned.
“Sara…”
When he entered me a second time it still hurt but it was a pleasant sort of pain.
“Bastian,” I sighed, tightening around him. He shuddered, holding onto me as if scared I’d disappear. I had to tell him.
He had to know.
“Bastian…I lo—”
“Sara! Bastian! Are you in there?” Anne’s hysterical voice came from the other side of the door, followed by the pounding of her fist against wood.
Bastian and I looked at each other in alarm. I winced as he slowly pulled out of me. We became two separate individuals once more.
It was difficult to do. I felt cold and alone without his skin touching mine. The admission I had been about to make floated off into nothing.
