It had gotten dark. The low wattage light bulbs in the overhead fixtures did little to dispel the shadows. Most of our family had gone to their respective homes for the night. The elders had gone to Pastor Carter’s lodgings for a meeting. Most likely regarding Gabby.
No one had mentioned her the rest of the day. We carried on as if nothing had happened.
It would be fine in the end anyway.
We all trusted Pastor Carter’s ways. He knew what was best for us when we didn’t know it ourselves.
Gabby’s mother, father, and younger sister, Amelie, sat at the table during dinner and ate quietly with the rest of The Gathering. None seemed bothered by Gabby’s absence.
Anne had served Amelie an extra honey cake for dessert.
“It’s going to be chilly tonight,” Anne observed, wiping down the long tables in the middle of the room. The dining hall always felt cavernous. It was large and bare, with only a cross on the wall and three wooden tables that ran the length of the space for everyone to sit together.
Our words seemed to echo so we had learned to whisper if we didn’t want our thoughts to be shared with others.
Anne rubbed her arms and shivered. “There aren’t any blankets in The Refuge.”
I bit my lip and felt the heat in my gut again. Swallowing thickly, I picked up the last few glasses and carried them to the sink against the far wall. “She’ll be fine. We’ve been there in worse weather than this,” I reminded her, keeping my voice soft and neutral.
Anne opened up the cupboard and pulled out a clean plate. She began to load it up with leftover chicken and potatoes. A helping of cold carrots and a raspberry and flaxseed cookie—no sugar.
“Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if we never came here?” she asked, her voice breaking.
I straightened my shoulders. “No. I don’t.”
It wasn’t a lie.
Not exactly.
I focused on my future. On my journey.
I couldn’t look to the past for anything.
I couldn’t wonder and daydream about things that didn’t matter.
We all had one purpose.
One purpose only.
To prepare ourselves for The Awakening. To be Awakened. To give ourselves totally to God. To our family. To Pastor Carter’s teachings.
But…
“No,” I said again, more forcefully this time.
Anne nodded, accepting what I told her. Always accepting. Never doubting. That was the beauty of Anne Landes. My best friend. She was devoted to me.
She had learned, just as Gabby would learn. Just as we all learned.
There was no other way but the one we were given.
Anne covered the plate of food with a cloth and headed for the door.
“Goodnight, Sara,” she called out as she left.
With the plate of food she wouldn’t eat.
She was devoted. I believed that. I had to.
