I let it all out.
Every angry, horrible, negative thing I had forced myself to push away. Clearly it had always been there. Just below the surface.
“Let it out. Just let it out,” Bastian coaxed, pulling me to his chest. I buried my face in his shirt and cried and cried. Not silently. Noisily. From the pit of my soul. The pain overwhelmed me.
“I’ll make this better for you. I will,” Bastian pledged over and over again. I barely heard him. I could only focus on all the emotions I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in so long.
It was too much.
All of it.
It was like seeing color for the first time. It was beautiful and terrifying.
The tears began to subside. I felt wrung out. Depleted.
Yet for the first time, I felt…complete.
I pulled away slightly, a little embarrassed. “I got your shirt all wet.” I tried to laugh. It got caught in my throat.
“Sara—” He was about to say something. Something important. Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear. Questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
I kissed him.
I needed to forget.
I needed toremember…
He froze for a fraction of a second before he responded. His lips parted and I kissed him harder. Frenzied. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him as close as I possibly could.
Because Bastian wasn’twrong.
He was the only thing in my world that wasright.
We clung to each other. Holding onto the only thing that kept us grounded.
I hadn’t realized until that very moment that with Bastian Scott I had come to believe in something else. Something greater.
Something more.
“I don’t need a higher power to guide me, Sara,” he murmured against my mouth. “I know what I feel for you. And it’s the surest, realist thing I’ve ever known.” He kissed me with a faith that was only in me.
Only in this.
His fingers buried in my hair. His chest was hard and solid against mine. I feared his words. I craved them. I knew that he had become my truth.
Maybe…just maybe…loving him was the only purpose I needed.
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
Bastian looked at me. His gaze intense and deep. He didn’t shy away from looking at me. He never had.
“I am too, Sara.” His eyes were bright. So bright. I found myself in them.
And then lost myself all over again.
This was the end.
This was the beginning.
