“Sara, what is it?” Bastian was by my side in an instant. He didn’t touch me. As if he knew that I couldn’t deal with that right now.
I put up my hand, stopping the flow of questions before they fell from his mouth. “Please, don’t.” I wasn’t sure what I was asking him not to do.
Bastian took a step back. I felt the space around us as though it were miles instead of feet.
“And like Lot, I will lie with my daughter…”
I was going to be sick. I braced my hands on my knees and gulped in air.
“I won’t marry you, Pastor! It’s wrong! God wouldn’t want that!”
“Then you will burn in hell and I will shove you into the pit myself.”
Pastor had threatened me. He had used the love I had for my family against me. He threatened Bastian.
That had been the worst thing of all.
How he used the pure love I’d discovered with Bastian against me.
“You aren’t destined for that boy. He is worthless. He will be left behind. He has led you down a dangerous path. If you continue to follow him, I won’t help you. No one will. You will be turning your back on your family. On the people who love you.”
What he wanted from me wasn’t right. It wasn’t good.
And it certainly wasn’t holy.
There was something disturbed inside The Gathering. It had been there all along and I had never seen it.
But now my eyes were open.
I didn’t know what to do.
I felt imprisoned.
Panic rose up in my chest. We were missing Pastor Carter’s sermon. I was supposed to be sitting with the children.
Mom would be looking for me.
Pastor Carter too.
I shivered at the thought of his mean, mean eyes. Not caring or kind. Only hateful and selfish. How had I been so blind?
Perhaps because his sins were simply hidden better.
I wouldn’t marry him. I knew I couldn’t.
Even if I was expected to comply. To do my duty.
But did that mean I was condemning my soul?
I had been conditioned for years to believe that Pastor’s word was God’s wish. God was unmerciful, yet forgiving of those who followed his path. I was meant to be perfect for him. Devout and obedient.
I realized I couldn’t be that person. Not anymore.
Not after Bastian.
“Sara?” I heard his voice as if through a fog.
Pastor Carter expected me to marry him.
