And I knew in that instant it wouldn’t be enough.
Good God, I wanted him to fuck me.
I wanted to feel him inside of me.Everywhere.
Lust was becoming blurred with other things.
Other feelings.
On the cusp of orgasm, I pushed against his chest, taking a staggering step backward, his fingers falling away just as I was poised, ready to explode. My body thrummed and began its torturous downward spiral, having been denied the very thing it ached for.
Mason reached for me, his hands outstretched. “Hannah—”
“Just give me a minute. I’m sorry…” My voice trailed off. I had to get my head together.
Mason looked worried. “Did I do something wrong?”
No…
It wasn’t Mason.
It was me.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I said instead of answering him. He looked upset, not angry about my prick tease.
“Hannah, please talk to me. Did I move too fast? I thought—”
I held my hand up, stopping him midsentence. “Mason, please, I just need a moment. That’s all.”
He ran a shaking hand over his short-shorn hair and nodded. “Yeah, okay. You remember where it is?”
“I do. I’ll only be a minute.” I hurried down the hall and into the bathroom.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes bright. My lips were red and swollen.
I had to get my game face on. I had to go out there and be the Hannah Mason expected me to be.
Not the flaky, neurotic woman who had fled into the bathroom.
I had to give him my body without compromising my heart.
I wasn’t sure I could do that.
Perhaps it was best to call off the plan. To let Toxicwrath know I couldn’t do it and to find another way of staying below the radar.
I splashed my face with water and wondered if I could walk away now. Could I forget about Mason? Could I allow myself to turn my back on getting the information I needed to stay free? To stay safe?
I thought about Charlotte.
I thought about the wicked, horrible people in the world who deserved the vengeance I took on them.
Could I live with myself knowing I had the ability to bring them down and could do nothing because I didn’t have the stomach to keep out of jail?
I knew the answer.
No.
I would hate myself. And the self-loathing would be intolerable.
