Without realizing what I was doing, I dialed a number and held the ringing phone to my ear.
“Agent Kohler.”
I froze. I thought about hanging up but knew that Mason would only call back.
Why had I called him?
Feeling low, I had reached out without a second thought.
What was I thinking?
Was I thinking at all?
“Hi, Mason.”
“Hannah, hi.” I could hear his smile through the phone. It lifted my heavy, heavy heart.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything important.” I could hear the tapping of a keyboard. The shuffling of papers.
“I’m at the office. Thought I’d come in and get some work done while the place was quiet.”
“Oh, well, I don’t want to bug you—” Calling him had been a mistake. I’d see him later. I shouldn’t be so needy. That wasn’t how I was supposed to play this.
“You’re not bothering me. Not in the slightest. Are you okay? You sound a little down.” He was observant. Too observant. It should bother me.
It didn’t.
I liked that he picked up on my mood without my having to say anything.
“My mother came by. She brought a framed picture of Charlotte and me that used to sit on my dad’s desk at work.” I spoke quickly, as if scared the words would dry up and get lost.
“Oh. Well that’s nice, isn’t it?” He stopped shuffling papers and typing on his computer. I had his attention.
All of it.
It was a heady feeling.
“I miss my dad,” I whispered, wiping away stray wetness from my eyes. He pulled the emotion from me carefully. Without even realizing what he was doing.
“I know you do,” he whispered back. No “I’m sorry.” No insincere condolences. Just “I know.” It was enough.
“I thought it would have stopped hurting so much by now,” I found myself saying.
“I don’t think it ever stops hurting that much,” he said.
“I wish you were wrong.”
“The only thing that helps is time. And being with people who make you feel better.”
“Can I see you? Now?” I found myself asking. Why was I doing this? Why was I ripping myself open for him to see?
Why did it feel so right?
“Of course, Hannah. I’ll be there in ten.”
“Thank you,” I said before he hung up.
“Always.”
