I balled up my napkin and threw it at him. “Laugh away, jackass, I’m not the one that got crabs from dipping my wick without a jimmy hat on.”
Alan and Craig howled as Shane glared at me. “That was last year. Why do you have to keep bringing it up?”
“Why do you have to keep being a right git?” I shot back.
“Now boys, no need for any of that,” a syrupy voice interrupted.
Craig got to his feet like a puppet on a string. He wrapped his arms around his wife, kissing her. “Hiya babe, you want a steak?” He ran his hand up and down her back. His gesture was territorial. He was staking a claim. Maybe Craig wasn’t as oblivious as I had thought.
Marla made a face. “You know I hate red meat. Did you get those veggie burgers I wanted?”
“I knew I was forgetting something,” Craig said, his face apologetic.
“Craig, I asked you to get me one thing. One. Thing! It’s like you don’t even care about me. If it’s your beer, you remember. But ifIask you to get something, you forget. Every single time,” she berated him.
“Babe, I’ll go out now to get your veggie burgers.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket.
“Make it quick,” she instructed. “And get another crate of the nice Pinot. The girls went through what we had.” She gave him a peck on the cheek, flashed us a sultry smile and sauntered off.
“Alan, can you watch the barbeque? I’ll just run down the store.” Craig handed Alan the spatula.
“Man, she doesn’t need veggie burgers. Come on, don’t go,” I told him. Marla really did have him by the balls. It was embarrassing.
“It’s no big deal. Can I get you guys anything?” he asked.
“Nah, we’re golden,” Shane said. Craig hurried off like his arse was on fire.
Alan got up and started tending to the meat on the grill. “Boy needs his head seeing to. I would never let a woman lead me around by the short and curlies the way Craig does.”
“Especially when she’s flashing the minge to every Tom, Dick, and Harry.” Shane shook his head.
Alan gave him a look. “It’s not like you haven’t put it there a few times yourself.”
I choked on my beer. “You’ve shagged Marla?” I asked my teammate. Shane and Craig were mates as far as I could tell. Though I wasn’t one to judge. Been there, got the backstabbing mate T-shirt.
Shane shrugged. “I was drunk. She’s fit. She was gagging for it anyway. Craig’s a twat for staying with a bitch that fucks anything that moves anyway. Plus, I doubt I’m the only one.” I could have sworn Shane’s eyes flashed in my direction. If Marla were going around wagging her tongue, I’d have to do something about it.
“He’s our teammate, Shane.” I frowned. “I’d expect you to have more decency than that.” What I meant was I thought Shane was a better bloke than I was. It was disappointing to hear he wasn’t.
Shane let out a bitter laugh. “Am I really getting a lesson on morality from Lucas Bradley? Give me a break.”
I glanced at Alan who pointedly looked away.
“I wouldn’t sleep with my friend’s wife and then brag about it,” I remarked defensively, even if I felt like a hypocrite. I couldn’t believe Shane was talking about Craig’s wife like this in the man’s house. It was beyond the pale.
“Wow, point for Lucas,” Shane muttered.
“Is that what you guys really think of me? That I’m just an arse getting his rocks off all the time?”
“Look, don’t give me shit about what I do and I will do the same.” Shane got to his feet. “I think I’m heading out. See you guys on the pitch tomorrow.”
“What the hell, Cole, thanks for having my back there,” I said sarcastically.
Alan grabbed a tray and started loading it up with steaks. “He’s not wrong. You can’t go around judging what people do when your house is hardly clean.”
“What does that even mean?” I was getting angry.
“Just drink a beer, get your junk tugged. Relax. You’re too uptight.” Alan pointed to a group of woman on the other side of the garden. “Every single one of them would give their left tit to see you naked. Now go.”
