I was filled with dread. Yoss would disappear. He would slip quietly out of my life again. Breaking me apart in the way only he could.
I could see the resignation in his eyes. The set of his mouth. He was going to leave.
I gripped my keys so tightly in my palm that they bit into flesh.
My ex-husband’s words seemed to echo through the silent rooms. An accusation. A harsh slap in the face.
“Your heart has never been in this, Imi. I’m not sure why you ever married me in the first place.”
The thought of Yoss going back to the world he came from, the world we had lived in together, made me want to throw things. It made me want to rage and scream and cry.
He held me as the sun set over the horizon. We were so close. I knew that I’d never love like this again. I felt it with the certainty of a young, passionate heart.
“One day soon,” Yoss murmured into my hair.
“One day soon,” I repeated softly.
I didn’t realize I was crying until the tears dripped onto my lips.
I had been waiting.
Some days patiently.
Some days not so patiently.
To find him again.
I turned on my heel and walked back out of the house. I got into my car and pulled out of the driveway.
I drove back towards the only place I could go.
My happy life.
“What are you doing back here?” Yoss asked, looking up in surprise when I all but flew into his room. He took in my flushed cheeks and windblown hair and frowned. “What’s wrong, Imi?”
I put a hand over my thumping, thumping heart and tried to get my breathing under control. I hadn’t stopped to speak to anyone. I felt like time was running out. I couldn’t wait another moment.
I didn’t think about consequences. I didn’t think about outcomes.
I only thought about giving Yoss all the things he deserved. The things I had promised him. The things I had failed to give him.
“You’re coming home with me,” I announced.
Yoss’s frown deepened. “What are you talking about?” He put the magazine he was reading down on the table and sat up straighter.
I walked over to his bed, not bothering to take off my coat. I sat down and took his hand. I purposefully, slowly, laced our fingers together. Palm to palm.
“I want you to come and stay with me, Yoss. Right now. Tonight.”
Yoss stared at me long and hard and I couldn’t read his expression. I noted that he didn’t look particularly thrilled with the idea.
“Don’t, Imogen. Please, just don’t,” he said, almost angrily.
I squeezed his hand hard. Maybe too hard. I wasn’t being delicate. I was feeling sort of wild.
“Why can’t you?” I demanded.
Yoss’s green eyes burned. “Because you have a life, one that doesn’t include me. I won’t mess that up. I can’t. So just drop it, Imi. Because I’m not strong enough to say no to you. You need to be strong enough for both of us.” He turned his face away, towards the darkened window.
