I remained quiet and we finished watching the movie. Pressed against each other. Trying to ignore the real world that waited for us.
Like the kids we used to be.
Embracing a second chance that had been stolen from us years ago.
Fifteen Years Ago
Yoss carefully slipped out from underneath the blankets. I knew he was hoping not to wake me. But I had already been awake since daybreak.
Mable, the lady who screamed as though she were being attacked every single morning, had been at it for hours. I had learned to block it out most of the time, but not today.
Someone had started a fire somewhere and the large, open room of The Pit had filled with a thick, acrid smoke. I was terrified everything would go up in a blaze. But it was starting to get cold at night. So cold that the thin blankets Yoss and I slept under were no longer enough to stay warm.
“Where are you going?” I asked, my voice scratchy with lack of sleep. I already missed the feel of him against me. I felt an indescribable panic at the thought of him leaving me alone again.
He did it often. I should be used to it. But I wasn’t. I didn’t think I’d ever be.
He squatted down beside me and smoothed my hair back from my forehead, leaning in to kiss my lips. Softly. So softly.
“I was going to take a piss and see if I can find us something to eat. I had hoped to get back before you woke up.”
Mable had finally stopped screaming and was now sobbing. The broken sound was so much worse. It hurt my head. It deadened my heart. Living like this was taking its toll. The hunger. The cold. The fear. It weighed on me in ways I didn’t think I’d ever be okay with.
I sat up, the blankets falling to my lap. “I’ll come with you,” I said, hating how needy I sounded.
I depended on Yoss for everything. I had thought by now I’d be a more self-sufficient, but in reality I wasn’t sure I could survive without him. My emotional state was precarious. My physical health was fine. For now. I was too skinny. I hated the sight of my bones sticking out from my rough, raw skin.
But I was in love. And that helped.
“You’re coming with me to take a leak? I love you, Imi, but there are limits to the things I want to share with you,” Yoss laughed, getting to his feet. “How about I take care of business and come back to get you before looking for some food.” He frowned at the look of distress on my face. “I’ll be right back, Imi. I promise.”
“Promise?” What was wrong with me? I needed to get it together.
Yoss’s eyes were soft. I loved it when he looked at me like that. As if I were his entire world. “Always.”
After Yoss was gone, I ran toothpaste over my teeth. I coughed, trying to clear my throat. The smoke was getting heavier. I looked down at my stained sweatshirt and cringed. It was filthy, covered in things I didn’t want to think too much about. I knew that I smelled, but there was little I could do about that. I had become used to the stench months ago.
Yoss was back after only a few minutes and he held out his hand for me. I took it and we walked outside together. The sky was blue and the sun was already high in the sky. I had no idea what time it was. It was easy to lose track of time living the way we did. Without responsibilities. Without commitments. I usually slept until late morning having only fallen asleep in the early morning hours.
School had started three weeks ago and I wondered if anyone had contacted my mother asking why I wasn’t attending. What lie had she told them?
As always, when I thought about my mother, my stomach turned into knots and I felt a mixture of rage and grief. It didn’t get better. No matter how much time passed.
“So, I have somewhere I need to go today,” Yoss said as we walked down the street towards the Seventh Street Bridge.
I stiffened instantly, my mind already jumping to conclusions. To alleyways and faceless men. To busted lips and Yoss’s tears.
Yoss squeezed my hand. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d come with me.”
I gaped in shock. He wanted me to come with him? Why? The suggestion seemed callous and cruel and I couldn’t believe Yoss had suggested it.
“It’s not what you think,” he murmured under his breath, looking ashamed. I hated that I made him feel that way, but I couldn’t say anything to make him feel better. When it came to that part of Yoss’s life, there wasn’t anything Icouldsay that wouldn’t sound like condemnation.
“Where are we going then?” I asked.
Yoss ducked his head shyly and my heart pitter-pattered. “I want you to meet my grandma.”
My eyes widened. “Your grandma?”
