Yoss smoothed my hair back from my face. “Maybe not, but it’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to still love them. I’d rather know I was capable of loving someone who doesn’t deserve it than close my heart off even a little bit.”
“You really do sound like a self-help book sometimes, you know that?” I teased.
“Well, you should listen to my sage wisdom, then,” he chuckled.
Di and Karla headed off towards the pool and Shane joined a pickup basketball game on the courts. Bug stretched out on the ground and promptly fell asleep.
“I swear he can sleep anywhere.” I snickered as Bug began to snore.
Yoss lowered himself onto the grass and I sat down beside him. “At least he’s sober today,” he said.
“What’s going on with him?” I asked, worried about the blond-haired boy who had become my friend.
Yoss leaned back on his elbows in the grass, crossing his legs at the ankle. I rolled onto my side, propping my head up with my hand, twirling a blade of grass as I watched Bug twitch in his sleep.
Yoss’s face hardened. “He’s got problems. I mean we all do. But Bug’s are worse than mine. They’re worse than Shane’s or Di’s. He’s into some dangerous stuff that will eventually get him killed. He’s not smart about when and how he gets his drugs. He doesn’t think.”
“Di had mentioned that he works for Manny sometimes. Like you…” My words drifted off. I instantly felt bad for mentioning Manny on a nice day like this.
Yoss let out a frustrated breath. “Imi, there are things that you don’t need to know about. I don’t want—” He stopped talking abruptly.
“You don’t want what?” I asked.
“You know. I know that you know. But I’m afraid if you hear the details, you’ll look at me differently. That you wouldn’t—”
Yoss glanced over at me and my heart thudded painfully. He ran his thumb down the side of my face. “I’ve had to do things that I regret. I still do things that I regret. All the damn time. I wish things could be different. But for a guy like me, there are very few options. But that day I walked up to you when you were crying, I went against my instincts that told me to leave you alone. Because I knew that you would change my life. And you did. In the second it took for you to look at me things were different. You’re one of the only things I’ve ever gotten right, Imogen. Don’t you get that?”
“That’s bullshit, Yoss. You have options just like everyone else!” I protested.
Yoss smiled softly. “I love your idealism. I just don’t want you to stop looking at me the way you do right now. I’ve lived through a lot, but I don’t think I could survive that. And if we talk about this—about Manny—that look in your eyes will disappear.”
I opened my mouth, prepared to argue with him. But his expression had me swallowing my words.
“Oh my god! Imi!”
A couple of girls from school were walking past the tennis courts. I wanted to hide my face. Pretend I didn’t hear them. But I didn’t. What would be the point?
They were carrying towels, obviously headed for the public pool. I recognized them as Becky Plimpton, a girl I sometimes had lunch with, and Fiona Jones who I had known since Kindergarten. Both waved at me enthusiastically.
I glanced at Yoss and noticed that he was now sitting up, watching the group approach us. I didn’t want to talk to them. I should have known better than to come to a park where I was likely to run into people I knew.
“Where the hell have you been, girl? You’ve missed all the good parties this summer!” Becky exclaimed stopping at my feet and giving me a big smile. Becky was a nice enough girl, a little on the ditzy side, but harmless.
Fiona glanced at Yoss, her eyes widening slightly. I knew what she saw. She saw a hot guy with longish black hair, beautiful green eyes, and a face to stop your heart.
I wanted to snarl at Fiona and her obvious interest.
“Are you going to introduce us to your friend?” she asked sweetly.
Yoss lifted his hand in a halfhearted wave. “I’m Yoss, Imi’s boyfriend.”
Boyfriend.
He was my boyfriend. I grinned like a fool.
Fiona and Becky exchanged a look. “Oh, I had no idea you were dating anyone,” Becky said.
“Yeah, well you know…” I let my words trail off.
