“What’s wrong with him?” I whispered. Most of the time Bug was a funny, sweet kid. But there were times he wassomething else.
“He’s a junkie, that’s what’s wrong with him,” Yoss growled. He grabbed my hand again and pulled me towards the embankment. “Come on. Let’s go to the carnival. If he chokes on his own vomit, that’s on him.”
I had never heard Yoss sound so pissed off. It worried me. I glanced back at Bug and he hadn’t moved. Di followed us as we made our way into town, following the curves of the railroad tracks.
“Shouldn’t someone stay with him—” I started to suggest. It wasn’t like Yoss to be so dismissive about his friends.
“He’ll be okay, Imi. He does this shit all the time,” Yoss said more gently, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. “He went three weeks this time without using that crap. I had hoped…” His words trailed off, blowing a cloud of smoke into the air.
“You know as well as I do that he can’t just stop, Yoss. Don’t be so naïve,” Di chastised.
“You did,” Yoss pointed out, flicking ash onto the ground.
“Yeah, well I wasn’t willing to do the things Bugs does to score. Not all of us have the stomach for that,” she said and Yoss tensed, his face stony.
“Some people don’t have a choice. But Bug does. And that shit will kill him,” Yoss said softly.
Di patted him on the back. “Let it go, man. You’ve got your girl beside you. It’s a beautiful day. We’re going to a fucking carnival. Don’t let Bug’s bullshit ruin it.”
Yoss squeezed my hand, taking another drag of his cigarette, and my heart felt full despite the knot I felt in my stomach about Bug.
Di had just called me Yoss’s girl.
Is that what I was?
Was I Yoss’s girl?
“You’re right.” Yoss beamed his pretty smile down at me and even though there were a hundred things to feel bad about, right then everything feltright.
“Were you planning to leave us behind? Seriously?” Karla called out. She and Shane scrambled up the side of the hill, joining us.
“Can you keep your charming personality in check?” Di asked with a healthy dose of sarcasm. I snorted and then coughed to cover it up.
Yoss nudged me with his elbow. “Hey, none of that,” he whispered, his mouth close to my ear. f I turned my head right then, our lips would meet. What would he do if I kissed him first?
Would he pull away? Would he kiss me back?
Was I reallyhis girl?
Karla stuck out her tongue and hurried to Yoss’s other side. “You doing to the carnival?”
“That’s the plan,” Yoss told her.
“Cool. I know a guy who’s working the cotton candy booth. I bet he’ll give us some for free,” she said sweetly.
“I bet I can figure out how she knows him,” Di muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes.
Karla ignored her.
“That sounds awesome.” Yoss dropped his cigarette onto the ground and then put his arm around her bony shoulders. I tried not to get jealous. It was hard when I noticed the dreamy smile on Karla’s face.
The center of town was teeming with people. I could smell the carnival before I saw it. Fried food and sugar.
It was an annual tradition. I remember as a child begging my mother to take me. If she were in a particularly good mood, we would go.
I recalled sticky faces and my stomach flipping over as I screamed and screamed on the Scrambler. My mom used to take sadistic delight in making me get on rides that made me nauseated.
I couldn’t help but feel excited though. There was something about the sound of rigged games, the dirt on your shoes as you walked the midway, the press of the crowd as they pushed their way to the next ride that made me feel like a kid again.
