“Oh my god, Imi! There you are!” Amanda squealed running towards me, almost tripping over the rocks in her hurry to get to me.
I was hanging out underneath the bridge waiting for Yoss. He had disappeared a few hours ago when Manny had come looking for him.
He had changed his shirt, brushed out his hair, and had left with a kid that looked to be about thirteen.
I had stopped asking where he went.
We never talked about it.
He tried to hide the bruises. The cigarette burns on his legs and arms. The black eye and busted lip were never mentioned.
I didn’t ask him about the handful of dollar bills he’d use to buy us milkshakes and hamburgers.
But I hated it when he was gone. I spent the time worrying about him. Wondering if that was the day he wouldn’t come back. I wasn’t completely naïve. I knew the dangers of what he was doing. The risk of being badly hurt, or worse.
Yoss tried to conceal his shame. But I saw it. Each and every time he came back to me, it was painted on him. Mixed with the smell of sex and cigarette smoke that coated his skin like a stain.
In those hours after he crawled under the covers beside me, he would touch my hand, run his fingers through my hair, press himself against me, as though I were the only thing that could make him feel clean again.
Sometimes Yoss would have nightmares that left him tossing and turning and crying out in his sleep. It was only when I put my arms around him that he settled down and fell into some semblance of rest.
I hated those hours after he came back to me. He was a shell. Shattered pieces of the boy he had been when he left.
But they were the only times I was allowed to hold him the way I wanted to. It was also when I knew how bad things were for him.
So I waited for him to come back. I sat underneath the bridge, huddled in my sweatshirt, warming myself by the fire in the trashcan Bug had lit a little while ago. It was an unseasonably chilly evening in July.
Di and Shane were riding their skateboards and Karla was smoking a joint with some guys down by the river.
When I heard my name being called, I froze in shock. I hadn’t seen any of my friends in almost a month. I had scrounged up some change to call Amanda a few times, but she had never followed through on her promise to come see me. Until tonight.
I got up and turned around to see my friend running towards me in too high heels and a skirt that was dangerously close to revealing parts of her anatomy that were best left covered. Obviously the cool weather wasn’t going to stop her from dressing in as little as possible.
“Oh my god! Imi, you look horrible!” Amanda shrieked and I cringed. Amanda was always too loud and too much.
I noticed Karla glancing our way, a smirk on her face. I could only imagine what she’d say about Amanda later.
I took my friend by the elbow and steered her away from the crowd that lurked too close. “What are you doing here?” I asked, casting a nervous glance around. Girls like Amanda stood out like a sore thumb in the dark, gritty world I now lived in. Her overly styled hair and expensively distressed clothes made it clear that shedidn’t belong.
Amanda frowned, apparently not pleased with my less than enthusiastic greeting. “I came to see how you were doing. I miss you.”
I let out a humorless bark of laughter. “How I’m doing? Well I’m still alive, so I guess that’s something.”
“Where did you get those clothes?” Amanda made a face, curling her lip in disgust. As if my outfit were the most important thing to address.
I ignored her comment. It was that or pull my hair out.
“What are you doing here? Did you come to hang out with the homeless kids? That sounds like a good night out,” I sneered.
“Wow, someone has been drinking the bitterly resentful Kool-Aid. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” she snipped, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder and casting a look around. “I mean, what’s it like?” she whispered, seeming worried.
I sighed and sat down on a pile of crumpled cinder blocks, tucking my knees up under my chin. “It sucks,” I told her honestly, dropping the attitude.
Amanda hopped up beside me, bumping my shoulder with hers. “You haven’t been hurt or anything have you?” She chewed on her bottom lip and looked downright worried.
Not that I blamed her. The sun was starting to set and people were beginning to congregate in groups. Smoke filtered up into the sky, music played from stereos.
At first glance it looked like a party.
