I ran my hands up his back and felt him shudder beneath my palm. I leaned in and placed my lips between his shoulder blades, kissing softly. So softly.
Without a word, Yoss turned and took me in his arms, his eyes still closed.
Hot. Wet. Slippery skin. Gasping, aching breaths. He fell to his knees in front of me. I parted my legs and almost collapsed when his mouth touched me.
His tongue made love to me as I tried to stay on my feet, my fingers pulling on his hair as I moaned. And sobbed. And promised a thousand unattainable things.
Too soon Yoss turned off the water and carried me back to the bedroom where he laid me down on the bed.
And he held me as I came, with him inside me.
I had no way of knowing that would be the last time.
That he was already preparing to break my heart.
“I have to go run some errands first. I want to try to get a few things before we leave,” Yoss explained after we were dressed and were readying ourselves to leave.
“I’ll come with you,” I said, tying my shoes and putting on my coat.
It was past noon. We had stayed longer than we should have. Why did it feel as if we were delaying something inevitable?
“No. Why don’t you head back to the bridge? Di, Shane, and Karla are probably there. They’ll want to know where we were. We need to tell them about Bug. And we need to say goodbye. Tell them what we’re doing. I don’t want to take off without them knowing,” Yoss replied.
“Shouldn’t you be the one to tell them? Can’t we do that together?” I protested.
I was worried.
I didn’t know why.
Yoss smiled and kissed me deeply. Tongues. Teeth. Meant to make me forget.
“If we divide and conquer we can leave that much sooner,” Yoss reasoned and I couldn’t argue with that one.
I would do whatever he asked so long as we put Lupton and this messy, messy life behind us.
“We’re leaving today, right? You’ll meet me at the bridge?” I asked a little fearfully.
I had to trust him.
Yoss kissed me again.
“Go to the bridge. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Why did my heartbeat sound like a warning?
Yoss walked me to the street where our paths would diverge. I would head to the bridge. He would head somewhere else.
“Where are you going?” I asked again.
“I told you. I just want to get some stuff together. I don’t want you to have to worry about things. I want to take care of you. Will you let me do that?” Yoss took my hands and kissed my raw knuckles.
“You don’t have to take care of me, Yoss,” I argued, frowning. When would he stop looking at me as a defenseless girl? When would he realize that he didn’t need to go to the ends of the earth to keep me happy?
“I know I don’thaveto.” Kiss. “Iwantto.” Kiss. “When everything else goes to shit, I can be glad that I made sure you were happy and safe. That’s all that matters to me.” Kiss.
“Don’t be long,” I pleaded.
