“That’s good. I’m glad.” He handed me a clean plate and I put it in the rack to dry. “We should probably look into getting you some clothes,” I suggested.
“I was thinking of going back to the house where I was staying to get my things today.” He paused for a moment, glancing at me, his green eyes hesitant. “That is if I can still stay here.”
I put my hand on his arm. He tensed. Muscles coiling, contracting. Wanting to pull away.
“Of course you can. I want you here, Yoss,” I said softly.
He dipped his hands back in the soapy water and started scrubbing the pan Lee used to make omelets.
“I like Lee. He’s nice,” Yoss said.
“He’s a therapist. He’s trained to make you think that,” I remarked with a smile.
“Well whatever, I’m just glad you have people like him in your life.”
“I was actually thinking you might want to talk to him sometime,” I began. Yoss frowned.
“I was just talking to him,” he pointed out.
“I mean about your situation. With your illness. Dr. Howell had made the suggestion that you speak to a counselor and Lee is great. He has a lot of experience working with end of life patients.”
Yoss’s face paled and my stomach dropped. “I didn’t mean you were end of life. I just meant given the severity of your disease—”
“It’s okay, Imi. We both know how sick I am. How bad the whole thing really is. There’s no sense in tiptoeing around it. I could die. In fact it’s looking like a very real possibility.” He lifted the plug in the sink, letting the water drain. “But I don’t know about being shrinked. That doesn’t sound like a good time to me.”
“Lee’s great. He won’t shrink you. Too much,” I smiled.
Yoss nodded. “Maybe.”
I stood there, knowing if I didn’t go to get a shower I was going to be very late for work. That should have bothered me.
But it didn’t.
Because I didn’t want to go to work.
The tightening in my stomach had nothing to do with anxiety about messing up my routine.
“Let me come with you to get your things,” I said.
Yoss looked at me in surprise. “I thought you had to go to work.”
I tightened the belt of my robe around my waist feeling strangely nervous. “I never use my holiday or sick time. I have loads of comp hours. I’d like to come with you, Yoss.”
“I can get my things myself,” he argued.
“I…I want to spend the day with you,” I let out in a rush.
Yoss didn’t say anything. I felt like I was hanging out in the wind, fluttering wildly, hoping I didn’t blow away. He left me in limbo with his silence and unspoken words.
“I don’t want you to see it, Imi,” he finally said.
“See what?” I was confused.
“Where I was living.” Yoss kept his eyes focused on the sink.
“I lived with you in a place like that, Yoss. You don’t need to be ashamed—”
“Iamashamed, Imogen!” he shouted, slamming his hands on the counter. I jumped at his tone.
