“This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” I heard Karla say.
“You’re just jealous Yoss isn’t roller-skating withyou,”Di responded. I loved that girl.
Yoss and I slowly made our way to the area where the skaters hung out. No one was around today, perhaps because it was so cold.
After a few minutes, Yoss was able to push himself along, while I still had to hold onto him with a death grip.
“Why is it so easy for you?” I complained.
Yoss laughed. “You’ll pick it up in no time. Though it’s fine if you don’t. I like having you hold on to me so tightly,” he murmured into my ear and my belly flipped over.
“You guys are worse than a grandmother! Come on, do some tricks!” Shane yelled. The rest of the gang had come over and were now perched on a fallen down wall watching Yoss and me skate very, very badly.
“Happy birthday, Imi,” Yoss said as I finally was able to let go of him long enough to take a turn on my own.
I smiled so much that my face ached as I shuffled along in my throw away skates.
Some days were dark and bleak. Cold and hungry I felt as if I were barely existing.
Then there were days like this.
When all I felt was love for the boy who kept me safe. The boy who tried to make me happy in the most miserable circumstances. Who held my hand and kissed me softly and made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Even when I had nothing, he waseverything.
It was the best birthday I had ever had.
Present
Yoss didn’t say anything on the entire drive to my house.
It wasn’t exactly awkward, but it wasn’t comfortable either.
He tapped his knee in a jarring rhythm. I pulled up along the curb and cut the engine. Yoss didn’t move to get out of the car.
“This is a bad idea,” he muttered, looking towards my dark house. “I shouldn’t be here.”
I turned in my seat so that I was facing him. I felt apprehensive as well. I understood his trepidation. My suggestion had been impulsive. Something I hadn’t afforded myself in many, many years. But it had felt right.
But did it still feel right?
I looked at Yoss and I saw a troubled, sick, lonely man.
My eyes followed the line of his jaw, finding the familiar, but my stomach clenched at thedifferent.
I was pushing him. I was pushing me. I was forcing something I felt we both needed. Both deserved.
A second chance.
His. Mine.
Ours.
Was Yoss right? Was I only in love with a memory?
“I’ll take you somewhere else,” I said suddenly, my voice too loud in the quiet car.
Yoss frowned, narrowing his eyes as he looked at me. “So you agree with me. That this is a bad idea.”
