“What?”
Her gaze lifts, pinning me cleanly, cutting through all my defenses.
“How long have you wanted to kiss me?”
The answer,twelve long, aching years, hammers through me. But the truth that comes out is gentler: “Since way before I allowed myself to admit it.”
Her lips part, not in surprise, but in recognition. She reaches blindly for her mug and downs the rest.
I remember I have something that needs to be made clear. “Ally… the night you saw me with your friend… nothing happened.”
Her head snaps up.
“What?”
“She crawled into the bed after I passed out. I didn’t touch her. Didn’t kiss her - I mean to say, she kissed me, but I… God, I was so drunk that I asked her if she wasyou. And the next thing I remember, I woke up, hungover to fuck and dealing with your friend sulking.”
Her face drains, then flushes, then cycles back through shock like she’s processing a foreign language. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that?” she breathes.
“You barely looked at me for a year after,” I admit. “Seemed like you hated me. I figured clarifying wouldn’t help.”
“I didn’t hate you,” she whispers, voice cracking. “I… God. I thought you liked her back. And Chelsea bragged afterwards. I thought you and she…”
My chest loosens painfully.She really thought all this time that I fucked her friend? Shit, that’s… shit.“I didn’t. And I don’t know why she said we did. I woke up hungover and spent ages consoling her that she wasn’t undesirable.” Nor was she. I just wasn’t interested.
“You said you asked her if she was me.” Her fingers tangle together.
I huff a brief laugh. “Yes. Apparently I told her tobeyou, or I couldn’t help her.”
Ally blinks fast, eyes brightening in the firelight. “You have no idea what that moment did to me. When I saw you both.”
“Tell me,” I say, voice low.
“No,” she says immediately. Too defensive, too fast. “No need. It’s old history.”
“Ally,” I say gently, “we’re literally trapped in a cabin. There’s nowhere for the truth to go except out.”
She clenches her fingers in the hem of the hoodie she stole from me.
“When I saw you with Chelsea,” she says haltingly, “I realized… I knew - I mean, Ifeltsomething I shouldn’t have felt. Something I thought I’d grow out of. And I didn’t. And it scared the absolute shit out of me.”
My breath stops.This is it. This is the moment I’ve always wanted, and it’s happening right now.
“That’swhy I avoided you after that,” she finishes quietly. “Not because I hated you. Because I didn’t.”
Silence drops like a ton of bricks.
Slowly, I shift off the couch and onto the rug opposite her so we’re eye to eye. She tenses, not pulling away, but bracing; almost like she’s waiting for me to ruin everything again.
“Ally,” I say softly, “I don’t want to forget.”
Her eyes flick up, unnerved.
“You said forgetting will keep us sane,” I continue. “But I’d rather be honest with you than sane.”
“That’s not fair,” she whispers.
“I’m not asking for anything.” My voice stays steady. “Not asking, not assuming, not expecting. I just want you to know the truth. I’ve wanted you for years. Foryears. And I’ve been trying not to. And I will keep trying if that’s what you need.”
