A girl.
I have a daughter.
So does Sadie.
We have a baby girl.
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, but it catches on an unashamed sob.
“Here you go, Mama,” Nancy says as I help Sadie ease back onto the bed. Once she’s comfortable, Sadie reaches for our daughter and immediately starts soothing her, her own discomfort and exhaustion forgotten in favour of our baby girl’s needs. The umbilical cord still links them, still inside Sadie, and I can’t stop silently crying.
This is the best thing that ever happened to anyone ever.
“I know, sugarpop,” Sadie sympathises with her daughter as she lets out some more broken cries. “It’s a lot, isn’t it.” She looks up at me and grins. “Did I do good, or did I do good?” Her eyes are tired, her face is red and sweaty, and the blood and white goo on the baby is smeared on the side of her face as she rests her cheek on her, but my woman has never, ever looked more spectacularly, knee tremblingly beautiful.
“You didfucking fantastic,” I manage to say, gazing down at our daughter’s little face. She has a light dusting of dark hair,and her nose is teeny. Her hands are like tiny starfish, and her fingernails are unimaginably little.
I’m in love again.
I belong to this baby, body and soul.
“Wasn’t it totally worth the wait to find out?” Sadie mutters happily.
I consider it. The moment Nancy told us we had a girl…yeah, it was pretty cool. “Alright, fair play, it was,” I concede.
“Told ya. She’s our little surprise in every way.”
“And I get to name her,” I add with a grin.
“Aww, man,” Sadie grumbles, lolling her head back against the pillow. “You’re gonna hold me to that?”
“You bet your ass I am.” On this point, I want to insist. “And I already picked out her name, and it’s Rhiannon.”
“Wraaaaaaa,” Rhiannon says, and we both chuckle.
“I like it, but why Rhiannon?”
“Cos of the song.” I smile at her. “I swear that’s what was playing when she was conceived. And even if it wasn’t, fuck it, she justisRhiannon.”
Sadie thinks for a second. “Rhiannon Marla Catherine? For our mothers?”
That’s perfect.
Just like my life right now.
Sadie
I hold our daughter tightly. I’m sore and wrung out and kind of in shock about the whole process. The way it felt to push her out. The relentlessness of the contractions. The exhaustion. How the hell did I do this?
I look down at her, atRhiannon, and there’s no denying I did, and what’s more, I did a hell of a good job. She’s so red andpurple and furious and beautiful, more than I ever could have imagined, and I know it’s the hormones coursing through me and rewriting my priorities and the very fabric of who I am, but I wouldn’t swap this moment for anything, and I absolutely would die for her without any hesitation. She’s the air in my lungs, and I will be anything she needs me to be, do anything she needs me to do. I’m hers.
I look at Leo for a moment, and smile. I’m his, too. His tears have left tracks towards his full faced smile. His hair is fluffed out at the sides. I’ve never seen him so buzzed, so overwhelmed, and so utterly delighted.
It wasn’t just Rhiannon’s gender that was a surprise.
It was her existence.
And, I think truthfully as she starts to settle against my skin, she was the best decision I ever made.
