Warmth spreads through my chest. I didn’t do this for praise, but anything that makes Sadie look at me like that is worth any amount of my time and any effort I might expend. “It’s nothing - ”
She stops my mouth with a kiss. “No it isn’t. Stop doing that. You did a really nice thing. Or at least, you will.”
I can feel my face heating up. “Woman, it’s just money and a few phone calls to my lawyer.” I shrug. “Since I can help, why wouldn’t I? Anyone would do the same.”
“No,” she says seriously, “they wouldn’t.” Her eyes travel around the room, and her mouth curls sweetly in amusement before she gives me the sort of kiss that would normally have me lowering her onto the nearest flat surface and ripping her clothes off.
“What was that for?” I murmur against her lips.
“Just marking my territory.” She chuckles quietly. “Most of the mums and a couple of the dads in here are checking you out. But,” she shrugs, and lifts on tiptoe to run her tongue from my jaw to my temple. “Licked. Claimed. Mine.”
Ain’t that the truth.
When we leave the class,we don’t hold hands.
We don’t say anything to each other.
We just…walk. Slowly and gingerly, in the direction of the car, trying not to freak out at everything we just heard.
I kind of want to beg Sadie’s forgiveness for putting her in a position where the only way out of it is to either force a watermelon through a rabbit nostril, which might get stuck andneed a suction cup attached to get it out, or haveseven fucking layersof skin and flesh and whatnot sliced open so the baby can be lifted out by hand.
Oh fucking Jesus, what if I puke or faint? Or both? What if I pukeon her?
I take a deep, steadying breath. I can’t do that to her. She’s going to need me to be cool, calm, and collected, and who the hell am I to complain when she’s going to have her vagina stretched as wide as they demonstrated with the plastic models.
“Shit a brick,” I’d breathed in shock when I saw the dilation models. I’m not an imbecile, I know a baby’s head is a pretty large thing to have in your business, but there’s a real difference in actually seeing it physically represented, rather than the vague idea you have in your head about sizes.
“Feels a bit bigger than a brick,” a second time mother we were sitting next to helpfully informed us. Sadie, my poor darling, bit her lip and looked a bit white at that point. “I thought I was dying, it wasawful. The worst experience ever. But you come back for more. Hoping this one will go better.” She laughs like it’s freakinghilarious. “It’s worth it, though.”
Please, shut up, I begged her telepathically, and fortunately, she said nothing further.
We reach the car, and I look at Sadie. She’s off in her own little world, staring at the car door and grimacing. I amnotgoing to be a problem while she’s doing this. I’m going to be her rock, damnit, and hey, like the nice nurses said, women have been doing this for as long as the human race has existed. It’s doable.
Itis.
I don’t care how the natural childbirth video made it look.God almighty, that made me queasy. I’m sure somewhere amid the crying and the blood and the goo and the screams of pain, the miracle of life is a beautiful thing. But fuck a duck, does it have to be so…
I don’t even have the words.
“Burgers,” Sadie says suddenly.
“Sorry?”
“I want a shit ton of burgers. One of every type on the menu. And a massive portion of hot, greasy chips. And a coke. And some ice cream.”
“Consider it done.” It’s the least I can fucking do.
So, on the way home, I drive twenty miles out of my way to this amazing burger place by an old-timey theatre we used to go to sometimes, and we both get seven different types of burgers each. And fries. And cola. And vanilla ice cream, which Sadie smears with the onions and cheese and pickles in her quarter pounders.
“It’s gonna be fine,” she decides through a mouthful. Her determined look dares me to disagree with her.
“Oh, totally,” I agree, infusing my voice with all the certainty I can muster.
“They always show the worst case scenario.” She swallows, and then immediately takes another huge bite. “Mine will be totally different. Better. It’ll begreat.”
“Of course it will.” I stuff my mouth full of food, over and over, because crisp, salty chips make everything OK.
“Absolutely.” We don’t look at each other. We just keep filling our mouths.
