“What is it that’sreallybothering you?” Em’s food is completely forgotten as she leans forward intently in her chair.
I sigh. “Honestly? He’s idealised me in his head for years. He’s got more one night stands to his name than anyone I’ve ever met. And he hasn’t had anything approaching a serious girlfriend the entire time I’ve known him. I mean, I know why, now, but…come on. No attempts at a relationship at all? With anyone?”
They look at each other, and then Liaden laughs easily, shaking her head.
“Sadie,” Em starts, “I love you very much, but get your head out of your arse.”
I lift an eyebrow at her. She is unintimidated and undeterred.
“Leo is the real deal. You’re beyond perfect for each other. Sometimes it literally is as simple as that. Stop creating problems and obstacles andget it together already. You deserve the good shit after Peter.” She picks up her burger again. “This is life blowing you a kiss. Don’t waste it. Grab him and be happy, you utterturniphead.”
My chatwith the girls has left me too thoughtful and listless to watch TV or read when I get home, so I just lie on the sofa, staring at the small cracks in the ceiling close to the light fitting. I must get around to arranging for them to be filled.
I want to brush Em’s words off as an overdose of enthusiasm on her part. After all, from her perspective, it must have been like watchingThe Vampire Diariesand wondering whether Damon and Elena would ever get it together, except Em had the live show.
My years with Peter were a total and utter waste of time. It’ll take me a while to stop being angry with myself about that.
This time, I’m keen not just to stop spending any more time or head space on that, but also not to lose Leo to a failed romantic experiment, which, like it or not,isa possibility. But I don’t mean to punish Leo with my cautiousness. Is that what I’m doing?
No, of course not. I’m being perfectly reasonable. Just because he’s…felt that way about me for a while, doesn’t mean I have to race to catch up with him.
But am I really racing? Or am I just finally opening my eyes to what was right in front of me all along?
When I spoke to that David guy that night on the cliffs, I resolved to take Leo’s offered heart and hand him my own. Why won’t I just do that?
I grumble to myself. I’m getting very introspective, when normally I prefer to be a doer rather than a thinker. So, in the absence of anything constructive to do, I get up and focus onwhat Icando to get back into a better headspace. Fleetwood Mac usually cheers me up when I’m cross, so I flick my playlist on.Go Your Own Waystarts up, one of my favourites, and I smile. Iamgoing my own way, and that’s OK. That’s downright necessary.
My phone is on the table next to me, and I start to consider my next steps.Use it. Take action.
My head and my instincts are at war. My brain wants me to be sensible. My gut thinks the time for that has long since passed and is now actively getting in the way.
I go with my gut.
Calling up my text conversation with Leo, I start to type. In spite of my tangle of conflicting thoughts, one urge stands clear: I want to wind him up, in the best way. I wanna play. So I stop overthinking for the night and decide to have some fun.
Sadie: I’m off to bed. Just so you know, I’m definitely gonna touch myself while I think about you…
I grin to myself as I brush my teeth, humming along to the next track,Little Lies. This will get a response before I’ve even spat out the minty foam.
But it doesn’t.
I’ve still heard nothing by the time I’ve changed into my satin cami and French knickers for bed.
I frown. Damn it. I was looking forward to a little sexting this evening. And, having had Leo’s long, fat cock inside me, my vibrator just isn’t as good anymore. It still gets the job done, but it’s the difference between a firecracker and a canon.
Speaking of canons, my door is booming, beaten so hard it may well come off its hinges.
I don’t even need to peer through the peephole to know who it is. When I race to the door and throw it open, sure enough,Leo’s leaning on my door frame, catching his breath as he gives me a scorching look. “Need a hand?”
Leo
She can’t send me a text like that and think I won’t come running. Literally, I ran hell for leather the entire way. I can feel a bead of sweat trickling down my back, and my throat is dry from sprinting here, sprintingwith a boner,I might add, which feels exactly as weird as it sounds. But I don’t care. I just want my arms full of her, her taste in my mouth, and I want those things right thefucknow.
And despite being out of breath, I can’t help yanking her towards me and crashing my mouth against hers. She’s way better than oxygen, after all. Especially when she responds to me so instantly, so passionately, wrapping her arms around my neck and hanging on for dear life as I pull her closer still, wanting to feel every inch of her beautiful body against me.
The slippery satin she’s wearing abruptly annoys me, and I snap the straps of her top pulling it off her. She kicks off the pants, and she’s so glorious, so naked and silky andmine, that I can’t wait a second longer.
So I pull her to the floor, right where we were standing between her lounge and her bedroom, and taste her mouth again.
