Page 82 of What We Need


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No matter how long they stay, Mom and Dad’s visits go by so fast that it feels like they just got here and I’ve barely caught my breath before they’re going home again. It’s already their last night, and, while I’m looking forward to being able to spend my days fucking Liaden without real life intruding all the god damn time… I’m going to miss them, and I’m going to feel like I didn’t make the most of my time with them before they left.

Feelings of guilt can be an addiction, I guess.

At least I got to take time out to take Mom to the vintage markets she loves, and take Dad to the aquarium to see the giant turtles. And giving them both tattoos is always fun. Dad wanted another extension to the vine on his arm, same as every time he visits; one new leaf for each trip. Mom had Dad’s name in Elvish runes on her wrist, not so much as flinching despite how delicate the skin is there. I think it’s a point of pride for her.

It was interesting not to spend my time with them convincing them I’m doing better than I really am, not pitting myself against Mom’s cast iron mother’s intuition and Dad’s straight shootingno-bullshit outlook on life for once. This time, they wanted to know all about Liaden: how we met, what about her makes me happiest (as if I could pick one single thing), what our long term plans were. I couldn’t answer the last one. I just said it was early days. I didn’t want to hurt my mother’s heart yet again by saying I knew full well that me and Liaden were a temporary thing, lasting only as long as she’s willing to tolerate my shit, and I was just making the most of what I had while I had it, with full certainty that one day she’d walk away. I know how badly Mom wants me to be happy, and I know how much she enjoyed getting to know Liaden when they had lunch, one on one. She and Callie were close, and she was devastated when she was murdered, but while her developing relationship with Liaden is completely different, I know she loves having that closeness, that daughter-in-law type relationship.

Dad’s been giving me some of his looks, the type he gave me when I was a kid and he knew I was bullshitting him. The man has eyes that can see into people’s souls, and I’ve seen him make more than one person squirm. So I wasn’t really surprised when he took me to one side.

“You’re a lucky man, son,” he said to me slowly in his gravelly voice.

I don’t disagree, Pop, I replied, trying to make light of it.

“No, listen,” he said, not unkindly. “This is your second shot. And I know you’ve been telling your Mom what she wants to hear. But whatever’s going on in that head of yours, remember that lightning don’t strike twice very often. You’ve been given a gift. Don’t piss on it.”

Liaden

It’sWendy and Kit’s last night in the UK, so we’re spending the evening at Leo’s. Dean lets us in with a spare front door key above Leo’s front door frame.We’ve told him and told him about this,he tells me with a shrug.For someone so concerned with security at the parlour, he sure as shit doesn’t seem to care about his house. Again, he spells the words I don’t know, and I store them up for future reference.

“Or maybe he just wants you all to have easy access,” I suggest. “He does seem to like being the host, and keeping an open house.”

That’s true. He smiles, and his arm goes around my waist, but I step back.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

He points up the stairs.Second on the right.

“Back in a moment,” I say, giving him a quick buss on the lips.

I can hear Kit talking to Wendy in one of the bedrooms as I head upstairs. “Baby, you sure? You gonna be so cranky if you’re hungover for the return flight.” He sounds amused.

“And I know it,” Wendy replies to him, “but between Dean bein’ different, Liaden bein’ adorable, Leo bein’ Sadie’s guardian angel while she’s spittin’ nails about her break-up,andEli and Emily’s wedding planning,andhavin’ to say goodbye to them all in the morning…bring on the Baileys. I’m gettin’ hammered this evenin’.”

I grin to myself. Wendy is fast becoming one of my favourite people. I think she’d get on well with my own mother, who’s similarly easygoing.

By the time I get downstairs, everyone is sat around Leo’s living room table, where a chocolate fondue pan is heating up. Leo’s set out a platter of cut up fruits with skewers so we can allhelp ourselves. Wendy’s in Kit’s lap, sipping a Bailey’s, as she asks Emily about what songs she wants played at the wedding.

“Just the usual feelgood tracks,” Em replies, “though I do have one song I definitely want played at some point.” Eli looks at her with interest. “Word of Mouthby Mike and the Mechanics. One of my clearest memories of my parents when I was a child was when we played that in the car when we were driving to Devon on holiday, and we always used to sing along to it at top volume.” She smiles wistfully as her fiance kisses her shoulder. “So that one is definitely on the list.”

I see Sadie whip out her phone and type something, and Leo’s phone buzzes a few seconds later. He reads it and winks at her, and they exchange a secretive smile. No-one else seems to notice, busy talking about the music some more.

“So, heard from Joe and Kate lately?” Kit asks Eli.

“Mmhmm. They’re both comin’,” he confirms.

Eli’s father and stepmother, Dean explains to me.

“Where are they these days?” Kit asks with a fond smile.

“Bahamas until Tuesday, and then they’re heading to Peru.” Eli shakes his head with a chuckle. “They’re livin’ the dream.”

“So they just travel the world non-stop?” I ask.

“Pretty much. Dad was a total homebod until he met Kate.”

“That sounds amazing. I love to travel.”

There’s a brief silence as they all look at Dean, and then at me, and I’m not sure what that’s all about, but as quickly as it happens, it passes. Wendy speaks up. “Where have you been, dear?” She drains her glass, and as quick as a flash, Leo tops it up.