We all burst out laughing whenI’m Your Manby Wham! starts up, and Leo feeds off the amusement of the crowd, nabbing an empty plate from a stranger’s table and using it like a tambourine. His George Michael impersonation is on point. The first time he sings the words,I’m your man, he points at Sadie, who’s got tears of laughter pouring down her face. The second time, he points at Emily. When he looks away and starts serenading another table, we all exchange looks much like the ones they were giving each other about me and Dean when they thought I wasn’t looking. Sadie remains oblivious, filming Leo attentively and cheering him on.
I glance at Dean again, expecting to see him chuckling like me, but he’s not. There’s sweat trickling down his face, and he has a death grip on his glass and the table, his knuckles white. His right leg, the one furthest from me, is jiggling up and down, and he has a very fixed smile as he watches Leo sing to a pretty woman a few tables away, and then to the disgruntled looking man with her. It’s OK, though; he sits in the guy’s lap and cajoles a laugh from him by pulling some Frank-n-Furter dance moves.
I reach over and touch Dean’s arm as gently as I can, but he still jumps, jerking his head to face me and visibly forcing himself to calm down.
Are you OK?I sign. He nods his head once and offers me a weak smile. I’m not fooled. He’s trembling, and trying to suppress it. It hurts to see him so anxious, and I feel a strong need to pull him back into the headspace he was in a few minutes ago, when he was relaxed and having fun.
I can do this. I can be fun and engaging enough to distract him from whatever is bothering him.
Watch me, I tell him.
As Leo finishes WHAM!, I hold my hand out for the mic and head to the tracks folder. Thankfully, the song I want is available. I’ve sung it a lot in pub gigs, so I know it back to frontand inside out. My version is a little more hard rock, but I can work this.
AsListen To Your Heartby Roxette starts up, I smile. “This is an old favourite for one of my new favourites,” I quip, winking at Dean. He looks marginally less pale, and he chuckles as Leo and Sadie whoop. I have his attention. Good. I need to keep it.
So, as I belt Roxette out, I take a leaf out of Leo’s book, albeit without dancing on tables until they collapse. I dance, I toss my hair, I sing my heart out to make him think of something better than whatever is making him jittery. For the second verse, I drag an all too willing Leo to the front and get him to join in because he’s such a crowd pleaser. He kicks it up a notch, his growly voice making it more like my usual rock cover, and we make a good duo. Our voices suit each other, and we have everyone’s undivided attention.
But all I care about is Dean’s.
Leo and I get a standing ovation, and obviously that’s flattering, but the part that means the most to me is that Dean is no longer shaking. He’s been watching me with total focus, and I can’t look away as I walk back to my seat next to him.
Under the table, where no-one can see, I feel something touch my fingertips, startling me. I look down, and his fingers are gently travelling up mine, slowly lacing them together until our palms are pressed together and he squeezes lightly. The warmth from his hand travels through my arm, right to my heart, and I feel like I just won a Nobel Prize.
Nothing else exists to me right now. Not my new friends, not the applause, not the complimentary Cosmopolitan the host placed in front of me that I’ve neglected. Just him. Just his touch, outside of the parlour, simply because he chooses to and not because he has to. This is more than mere attraction, certainly for me.
This could beeverything.
Even though hetook my hand out of everyone’s line of sight, he keeps hold of it as we leave once our drinks are finished. Eli had suggested making tracks, with a conspiratorial nod to me, by pointing out the time and suggesting we quit while we’re ahead. Everyone got the hint, and agreed readily. I have a feeling he was keeping an eye on Dean from the moment he arrived, and it looks like I might have gone a long way towards winning Eli over while he watched over him.
He’s got his hands full with Leo right now, anyway. While the Karaoke King isn’t drunk, he’s definitely merry enough to make him a little more rambunctious than I’ve seen him before.
“You’re not getting out of this,” Leo says, one arm slung around Sadie and one around me. Everyone seems to be carefully ignoring that my fingers are discreetly intertwined with Dean’s behind our backs. “Not taking a ‘no’ from you. We’re celebrating your engagement, end of discussion.”
Eli makes a growling sound. “I don’twanta bachelor party,” he mutters.
“Correction: you don’t want asleazybachelor party with coke and hookers. But a meal out with your buddies? Comeon. There’s no reason to say no.” He clicks his fingers. “Better yet, a proper N’awlins barbecue at Casa de Leo. You, me, Dean, whoever else you want to celebrate getting the whole marriage thing right this time with Embo. It’s happening. Accept it.”
Eli sighs with amused irritation. “Fine, fine, fine, FINE. But no - ”
“Leo style shenanigans,” Leo says in unison with him. “Got it. No-one will burst out of your cake, no celebrity lookalikes, no naked waitresses, no gorillagrams.”
I peer around him. “Split a cab with you?” I offer Sadie.
She glances at Dean. “Sure.”
My hand is squeezed lightly, and he looks down at me with a softness that makes me squirm in the best way.Thank you,he mouths at me. I rest my head against his shoulder, wondering how he’ll respond, and can’t stop smiling when his head rests against mine.
We’re getting there.
“So, while the boys are having a very grown up and mature barbecue, how about the three of us have a girl’s night in?” Sadie suggests. “Low key hen night, I’ll bring the bolly?”
“Yay!” Emily claps her hands quietly.both agree that’s a good plan, and I’m relieved. “I’ve never been to a sleepover before, so shall we make a night of it? I have plenty of room.”
“Never?!” Sadie asks incredulously, and I shake my head. “Right, that’s happening. Facepacks, chick flicks, hair braiding, talking about boys…”
“And pillow fights, right?” Leo pipes up, and she swats his arm.
“Men and pillow fights, what’s that about?” Sadie asks me, rolling her eyes in amusement. My eyes travel to Dean, and he has a tiny, naughty grin that makes me want to jump him. The knowledge that he’s enjoying a semi-naughty thought about me having a pillow fight causes a fizzing sensation in my loins. If that’s his kink, I’ll wear my best teddy and smack everyone here with a pillow until they’re spitting feathers.
