I can’t help feeling high spirited as I fold up my towel. I’m not particularly shy about nudity generally, as I don’t see the point, and there’s no need to cover myself now that his back is turned. There’s a definite thrill to being naked from the waist up just behind him. I wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t turned away. If he’d just had an unfettered look at my small bare breasts. How would he have reacted? Would he have given me a hot look, andthenturned away, reluctantly but like the gentleman he so clearly is? Or would he have looked his fill, unapologetically taking what was offered, maybe even reaching out to touch me?
Just the thought of his hands on less PG places has my nipples, always so very responsive, tightening even more. He’ll be able to see them pointing against the cotton of my t-shirt. Mybody won’t lie to him; it wants him toknowthat I want him, and is firing off all the signals of encouragement it possibly can.
I hiss a little as the fabric brushes the edges of my raw and tender skin, just next to the tape. “Wow, that’s…tender. But bearable,” I say thoughtfully. Without turning, he holds another thumbs up gesture up to the side. “Yeah, you can turn around now. I’m decent.” Well, as decent as I’m going to get with diamond hard nips under loose white cotton, anyway.
Slowly, almost hesitantly, he turns and faces me. There’s something innocent, boyish even, about his smile, and it’s so endearing that I’m getting tingles. His resting expression looks a little tired and drawn both times I’ve seen him, like he rarely gets sufficient sleep, but when he smiles it’s like the sun peeks out through his grey clouds and lights up his face.
Sometimes when I get horny I get a little impulsive, and right now I just want to see what would happen if I follow my instincts. So, when I draw closer, I don’t resist the urge to lift up on my tiptoes and give him a swift, light kiss on the cheek. His skin is so warm and smells faintly of lemons, in a body wash way rather than an aftershave way. My pants papaya warms and flutters slightly in response to it. I can’t help but notice he sways ever so slightly towards me, which is encouraging, but he stops and corrects it almost immediately. “Thank you for being so gentle my first time,” I joke as I stand back, giving him full eye contact and not caring if he can see from my expression that I fancy him. There’s a definite spark in his eyes, but, just like the sway, it’s gone just as quickly as it came. He’s holding back. I don’t think he’s going to kiss me, but Idothink he’s thinking about it. The way he tenses and looks at my mouth for just a second too long…yes, it’s at least on his mind, even if he won’t allow himself to act on the urge.
Obviously I don’t want to push him further than he’s comfortable, so I just bask in the knowledge that he’s not exactly averse to me.
He takes a breath and gives me a ‘you’re welcome’ smile with another thumbs up. I wonder if he gets sick of having to rely on the same universal gestures with people who don’t know ASL - and, moreover, why he never learned BSL to at least open things up for him in this country - and I’m determined to really focus on learning more so we can talk properly. I want to know what he has to say.
He spells something for me slowly with his right hand.T-A-X-I?
I shake my head. “I’m fine, thanks. I managed to park just a few yards away from your door.” I smile. “Must be my lucky day.”
He grabs his tablet and types something. Even bearing in mind how much he must type every day, it’s astonishing how fast he is.
Then I’ll walk you to your car. Let me just lock up.
He really is a gentleman to his bones. It’s dark out, and, while I’m not particularly worried about my personal safety at this hour in a well lit street so close to the parlour, I’m not going to turn him down. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
He shrugs into his beaten up leather jacket, and then holds mine out to me with an eyebrow lift. I turn and step back just a fraction more than I need to, and he helps me into my coat. The gorgeous leather smell mixes with the citrus freshness of his skin, and my knees actually tremble a little. That’s…interesting. It’s never happened before. I’m not one of life’s tremblers. “Thanks,” I whisper, turning my head to look up at him. His face is mere centimetres from mine, and he seems glued to the spot as we look at each other. His eyes soften, then darken, and I feel certain that if I could hear the thoughts visibly running throughhis mind right now, it could melt me and have me pinning him to the nearest wall and kiss him until he’s dizzy. Once again, his eyes travel to my lips and linger there…and then he looks away and steps back, turning down the metaphorical thermostat. He indicates towards the door, and the mask he wears is back on. It slipped just now, but he’s not willing to take it all the way off.
He locks up, and we start walking towards my car. There’s not much time to chat, but I try anyway.
“I’ll be sleeping on my front tonight.” One side of his mouth turns up. “Do you sleep on your front, too? Or on your back?” I ask him. “I think I read somewhere that the majority of people sleep on their side.”
He looks thoughtful, and then taps his back and shrugs.
“On your back?” He nods. “Apparently that’s a healthy position to sleep in. It’s meant to reduce tension headaches and sinus build-up.”How sexy. I giggle, taken aback by how unpolished I’m being right now. It’s a rare person that makes me nervous enough to blather so haphazardly. “Apparently there’s all sorts of reasons why I shouldn’t sleep on my front, but I seem to wake up in that position more often than not, regardless.”
His smile becomes enigmatic, like he’s having thoughts he isn’t willing to share. My own are along the lines of waking up on my stomach, with him entering me slowly from behind, so…
We reach my car, and for a few long seconds we just stand there awkwardly, looking at each other. Words usually come to me pretty easily - if people were asked to describe me, the word ‘loquacious’ would top most lists, with some rather less charitable people calling it “verbal diarrhoea” - but I have no idea what to say to him. With anyone else I felt attracted to, I’d establish whether or not the feeling was mutual as quickly and efficiently as I could, and then act on it. But I know instinctively that I can’t just put my cards on the table and lean in for a kisswith Dean. He looks at me like he wants to eat me, but he’s holding me at arm’s length.
Is that why my feelings are barrelling towards a full blown schoolgirl crush after meeting him only twice? Because he’s not so easily get-able? We’ve spent a fair amount of time together in terms of hours, but why him? Why now? Why is my pulse excited and my stomach tingling?
“Do you need a lift home?” I manage. He shakes his head slowly with a sweet smile, pointing up the road and holding up two fingers before tapping his wrist. Two minutes… Oh. “You’re two minutes that way?” He nods, pleased that I understood him. “Fair enough.” Back to silence again. “Well…see you next time?” His smile grows in agreement, and he takes a step back.
I get into my car and drive away, and he’s in my rearview mirror the entire time, staying in place until I’m safely on my way. It makes me like him even more. Someone raised that man right.
And when I get home, there’s a text waiting for me from an unknown number.
It’s the photo of my newly tattooed back, with the words,Looks really good on you, and will look even better when I’m done. And now you have my number, too. Dx
I smile until my face aches, feeling it radiate all the way to my toes. As I fire back my response, it occurs to me that I don’t usually smile like this, ever.
You do great work. Couldn’t be happier with it. I enjoyed myself tonight, by the way. X
He doesn’t respond.
Fifteen Years Ago
Dean
I park my dad’s Subaru in my usual place behind the bleachers and get out, leaning against the door and shoving my sunglasses back up my nose. Calista will be done with her cheerleading practice in a few minutes, and I can give her a ride home. But this time I gotta concentrate on the road, andnoton the way her little cheerleader skirt rides up her thighs as she sits next to me, because last time I came too close to clipping the side mirrors clean off…
