All this time, we might have been friends.
Day51
Made it fifty days.
The rules on outside contact are starting to relax at this stage. Still can’t see them, they don’t do visits here because the focus is entirely on the program without the safety net of rewards like visitors. The whole point is to not need them, to feel strong enough to be able to cope without. But I’m textingthem more. And the next step is to rebuild my relationships with the people who matter to me most.
Dean: Hey man
Eli: Hey
Eli: How are you doing? Great to hear from you.
Dean: So as part of the therapy, I have to think about what I want to say to key people, and write them a letter. But I’d rather just talk to you directly, and they’ve said that’s OK
Eli: Sure, man - how can I help
Dean: You’ve done enough. That’s the whole point.
Dean: You’ve been amazing over the past 15 years, and I have no way of expressing what that means to me. What you mean to me.
Dean: I can’t even begin to thank you
Dean: But I want you to know you don’t have to do that anymore
Dean: I’ve almost completed my time here, and I swear you won’t recognize me. I’m medicated, I’ve done intensive therapy, EMDR, hypnosis. And it’s helping, for real this time. I’m finally genuinely OK. And I got this far because of you.
Dean: I guess what I’m trying to say is, no irony intended, I don’t have the words, and I will always owe you everything. But it’s time for me to be your cousin, to be your brother
Dean: And I can’t wait to be your Best Man
Eli: My brother, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat
Eli: It’s thanks to you that I have Emily
Eli: And I need you to know that you are not a burden. You never have been.
Eli: I owe you plenty. And I am so proud of you. And listen, there's something I need to say.
Dean: I'm listening
Eli: I'm sorry I wasn't there that night.
Dean: What do you mean
Dean: Prom night??
Eli: Yeah
Eli: I've always felt like I should have been there and…I dunno, something.
Dean: Eli, WTF. It wasn't your prom. You had no reason to be there, no-one could reasonably have expected you to attend, and I'm incredibly thankful that you weren't
Dean: Please never give it another thought, you have nothing to apologize for
Eli: Alright. Thank you.
Eli: Can’t wait for you to come home again
