“Not again?” Elliot’s head pops up above my cubicle backboards.
“Yup.” I rub a hand over my face with a frustrated growl. “No idea what’s gone wrong.”
“Call Damon,” he shrugs, “cos this is far beyond anything I know how to fix.”
“Same here,” I reply, but a tingle zips through my chest at the thought of having a legitimate reason to call Damon over. Besides ‘I want to gaze dreamily at your butt’, which is, you know, true.
I dial his extension, and he picks up after one ring.
“Hall-lo?” I love his voice. It’s like a male Joanna Lumley, husky and deep and toe curling.
“Hey, Superhero.” For god’s sake, I’m already twiddling a strand of my hair.
“Hi,” he says, sounding pleasantly surprised.
“So, I’m having the worst trouble with pop up ads on my laptop, and you’re my only hope, Obi-Wan.”
He huffs warmly with laughter. “Sounds like malware. Give me two minutes—”
“Shit, really? Oh my god,” I panic, “Did I just compromise our digital security? God…I’ll get fired…”
“No you won’t,” he says smoothly, “I’m on my way.”
I breathe a little sigh of relief. “Bring your lightsaber,” I joke, and then smack my head. Obvious penis joke is obvious.
“He’s coming over?” Elliot asks curiously.
“Yeah.” I give him a questioning look. “What?”
He grins knowingly. “Nothing. He just could have taken control of your screen from his own desk.” He turns back to his own computer before I can make any kind of retort.
He’s not wrong. And I can feel the treacherous warmth flow through me at the thought.
We had a great time on Friday night, polishing off a whole pizza and splitting the ice cream while we compared notes about our favourite crime documentaries. I didn’t want for us to stop and go back to our desks, but of course we had to eventually.
Hard to concentrate, though, when I remembered the way his eyes would linger on my lips for a few seconds here and there, before he’d realise what he was doing and redirect to his food or the wall or literally anywhere else except where I sat.
He strolls over to my desk, somehow making a pale blue shirt and plain grey suit trousers look like a GQ spread to perv at while romancing the contents of your knickers.
“Whoah,” he blinks as he leans down to look at all the ads on my screen, “that’s a spicy meat-a-ball.”
“Can you fix it, or is it basically a paperweight now?” I bite my lip, and his eyes flare for a split second as he notices.
“Yep.” He gives me a reassuring look and pulls the laptop towards him, closing some of the ads. Gold for cash, cosmetic surgery…
And there it is.
SHAGGLE ROCK FURRY SEX CHAT CHANNEL NOW LIVE
BARBIE Q IS LIVE ON OUR WEBCAM IN FIVE MINUTES
DONKEY SCHLONG VEGAN PENIS ENLARGEMENT SUPPLEMENTS
I mean, points for the punnage.
Even further points for the highly detailed Hentai animation of a guy with a huge dick taking his trousers off.Boinnngggg, it’s the size of a foot long chilli dog.
Way better than the really dodgy photo of a man with his grotesquely huge cock swinging between his knees.
