Good God, I loved this man.
I lifted my chin for a soft kiss. “Let’s do this.”
He grinned. “Yes, captain.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes.
“See?” Eminem said, and there was a loud smack. “I told you they were back together!”
“Pfft. You were guessing as much as the rest of us.” Baddy rubbed his arm, which Eminem had apparently whacked with a glove. When he caught my eye, he smirked at me and Peyton. “You boys know you’re never hearing the end of this, right? Like ever?”
Peyton chuckled. “Eh, it’s a small price to pay for?—”
“La la la!” Eminem covered his ears. “I don’t want to know!”
“Get wrecked, Em.” I flipped him off. “Your jealousy is so transparent.”
“Wait, who’s he jealous of?” Trews asked. “Calds or Halls?”
“Both,” Peyton said.
Baddy nodded. “Definitely both.”
Eminem gave him a shove. “Act like you’re not!”
“So you admit it?” Peyton asked. “You’re jealous of?—”
“Gentlemen,” Coach said, his voice stern but laced with humor. “Can we perhaps focus on tonight’s game and not who’s jealous of Calds and Peyton hooking up?”
My jaw went slack. Peyton’s spine straightened.
As our teammates chuckled around us, Coach looked at me and shrugged. “What? Did you think I didn’t know?”
“I…” I paused, then shook my head and started for my locker stall. “Should’ve known. Can’t get anything past Coach.”
He smacked my shoulder as I walked by him. “And yet you still try.”
The chirping continued, of course, but we did dutifullyhydrate and get ready for the game. Moments later, we were filing out to the ice again. Some of the guys went straight to the bench. Some of us skated a few circles to stay loose while the announcer read the names of our starting lineup.
I didn’t usually pay much attention to the lineup announcement or the fans’ reactions to our names.
Tonight, though, not gonna lie—I got one hell of a rush when the crowd almost drowned out, “At right wing, number seventy-two—welcome back your captain, Avery Caldwell!”
I smiled to myself as I took my place on the blue line for the anthem. The sound of the crowd was a balm to my soul; for all I’d convinced myself I’d let my team and Pittsburgh down, both the players and the city were welcoming me back as if they’d never lost one iota of faith me.
I glanced at Peyton. Then I looked up.
The spotlight illuminated the American flag, but it also lit up the row of jerseys a few rafters back.
My gaze locked on the one sporting number sixty-one.
I had to swallow hard, but I didn’t feel as brittle as I had during our home opener or during the ceremony when they’d retired Leif’s number. If anything, determination swelled in me. Leif would’ve understood the need to grieve, but he also would’ve worried himself sick if someone couldn’t get back on their feet. If they were struggling so hard that they couldn’t move forward.
In fact…
Standing there on the ice with Leif’s jersey high above me, it occurred to me that Rachel had been right. Had the roles been reversed and I’d been the one with my jersey raised long before my time, Leif might well have collapsed the same way I had. He was tough as nails, but he had the biggest heart of anyone I’d ever known. How had Ithought for even a moment that he would’ve disapproved of or been disappointed by my collapse, when I knew—I fuckingknew—he’d have struggled just as hard in my skates?
Maybe he wouldn’t have crashed and burned the same way I had, but I was a damn fool to think he wouldn’t have been an absolute mess after losing a friend. Or even a teammate he didn’t know well.
