Though I was still in full coward mode, I made myself ask, “Do youwantto…”
Well, okay. I made myself ask part of the question. The rest, I hoped he could piece together.
He turned to me again, his focus sharp as he looked right in my eyes. “Yes. I do.”
I tensed, my throat constricting around my breath as my heart absolutely thundered.
He must’ve taken my silence for uncertainty, because he went on, “Look, like I said, we’re both on the rebound. But… I mean, so what?” He flailed a hand, then rested it on top of the steering wheel. “I can feel like shit about her and still know I feel something good for you.”
I almost choked. “You… You do? Feel something good for me?”
“Yes,” he whispered, and he laughed softly. “I’m sure it doesn’t make sense, wanting to be with the guy my ex cheated with, but I mean… the way I feel when I’m with you has nothing to do with her.”
I cleared my throat, which took some effort. “It—I mean, this doesn’t have anything to do with her either. The way, uh…” God, why was I so bad at this? “But you don’t think it’s too soon?”
“I don’t think there’s any rules. We both got fucked over. It hurts. It sucks.” He shrugged. “And seeing her again—that didn’t feel great either.”
Wincing, I stared out the windshield again. “I’m sorry. That was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t,” he whispered.
“But I should’ve blocked her, and I should’ve been more careful with the video before?—”
“Jesse.” He found my hand in the darkness, and his touch was like a magnet to a hard drive. All my thoughts were just… gone. Voice soft, he said, “Look at me.”
I did, and I held his gaze in the steadily brightening light.
He squeezed my hand. “It wasn’t your fault. And I think she shot herself in the foot more than anything.”
“She… She did?”
Eric nodded, laughing dryly. “Turns out she’s the reason people say ‘once a cheater, always a cheater.’ She tried to post about how I’d cheated on her, but a bunch of her friends dogpiled her and called her out.” He rolled his eyes. “Would’ve been nice if one of them had mentioned her history of cheating to me, but… not much I can do about that. I mean, shit, even her parents knew.”
“Seriously?”
Scowling, he nodded again. “When I told them the wedding was off, they were just like, ‘she cheated, didn’t she?’”
I coughed a laugh, rubbing my thumb across his. “Wow. That definitely would’ve been nice to know.”
“Right? So I’m not worried about this hurting my reputation or…” He waved his other hand before letting it drop onto the steering wheel again. “I don’t care about that. But after she showed up and showed her ass, and I spent some time thinking…” He dropped his gaze to our hands, which were barely visible in the low light. “One thing she threw at me was the fact that whenever I break up with someone, I go flying into bed with someone else.”
I pressed my lips together.
“But that wasn’t what happened this time.” Eric met my eyes in the darkness. “I wanted you. Not sex to get over Selena. Not something to make me feel better. Just… you. And I think the next morning, I pulled back because I didn’t want to have that rebound booty call thing with you. I’d rather get over her alone than have a fling with you.”
I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean it doesn’t feel like a rebound fling with you,” he whispered. “It doesn’t feel like we’re just fucking our way past her memory. Sex with you—I wasn’t into you because you were a convenient fuck buddy after a breakup.”
Oh. Shit. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. Or if I should ignore the glimmer of hope sparking to life in my chest.
Eric went on, “And I guess after I saw her, that’s when I realized that all the shit I feel because of her—it’s got nothing to do with you.” He met my eyes again. “And the way I feel here, with you, has absolutely nothing to do with her.”
It took work to swallow. “But wearestill on the rebound.” God, why was I trying to talk him out of this? I didn’t think I really was. I was just afraid he’d come to his own senses after I’d let myself get in too deep. Better to just nip it in the bud now, right?
“We’re on the rebound,” he acknowledged, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy something new. It doesn’t have to be love. It doesn’t have to be serious.” He swept his tongue across his lips. “But it can be good, and it can feel good, and if it ends up turning into something more, then that’s good too.”
“Do you think it will?”
