“As normal as anything can be with cats involved, especially your two.” She turned the phone and showed me Clyde, who was rolling around on one of his perches.
“Hey buddy,” I said. “You miss me?”
He lifted his head and peered around.
“Clyde?” I grinned. “What’s wrong, buddy?”
He looked from side to side, clearly confused.
“Don’t tease the poor dumb animal.” Maureen tousled his ears, and he apparently forgot all about me. He grabbed her arm, then bunny-kicked with his back legs. “Okay, okay, that’senough.” She laughed as she gently pried her arm free. “Silly goblin.”
I just chuckled. Clyde could be a little feisty sometimes, but he never bit very hard or scratched enough to draw blood. “Dare I ask where Chili is?”
The exasperated sigh was no surprise. Without a word, Maureen moved from the living room into the kitchen, where Chili was loafing on top of the refrigerator.
“What the hell is he doing up there?”
“You tell me! I think he got up there to get the cat treats and then decided it’s a fun perch.” She turned the phone again to show her own face. “The treat jar is in the microwave, by the way.”
I cocked my head. “The microwave? Why?”
“So your demonic house panthers can’t get to it!”
“Okay, that makes sense. That’s pretty smart, actually.”
“Uh-huh.” She dropped onto my couch. “So how’s the trip?” An eyebrow rose. “Are you two still”—she made air quotes with her free hand—“just friends?”
At that, my humor died away, and I broke eye contact with her.
On the other end, my couch creaked, and Maureen was instantly serious. “Oh. Shit. Did something happen?”
“It… sort of?” I exhaled as I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know what the hell we’re doing. And then the best part—Selena showed up.”
Maureen’s eyes went huge. “You’re kidding. What the hell was she doing?”
“I think she thought she was going to win Eric back, or humiliate us both online, or… I don’t know. Something.”
“How did she even find you?”
I took a deep breath and explained the video I’d posted and how Selena had apparently been stalking my account from oneof her unblocked accounts. When I’d finished telling that story, I told her about the conversation with Eric in the kitchen, and how we’d both been doing our own things today.
“Wow,” she said when I was done. “Sounds like your ex threw a monkey wrench into your whole trip.”
“She did. And I have no idea what she said to him, but he’s on another planet.”
“Do you think he’s upset with you over something? Like she convinced him you knew they were together?”
Staring out at the lake, I chewed my lip and thought about it. After a moment, I shook my head. “I don’t think so? I mean, he hasn’t acted hostile toward me, or like he’s upset with me. We were even joking a little about how to ward off another visit from the Adultery Fairy.”
Maureen laughed, then slapped a hand over her mouth. “Sorry. That was funny.”
I managed a halfhearted chuckle. “Yeah. He thought so too. But like, he hasn’t done or said anything to make me think I’m the problem. And trust me, I’ve been looking for those signs from day one because I still feel awful.”
“You shouldn’t. I know you do, and you’re too good of a person not to, but you didn’t do anything.”
“Not knowingly.”
“Not at all,” she said more firmly. “You were dating a woman who you had every reason to believe was single. If you’d known about Eric, you wouldn’t have been with her. I can say that with absolute certainty because I know you.”
