We both froze.
Horror and embarrassment swept through me in the same instant they registered on his face. As if we both realized in the same heartbeat that I’d been moving in so he could hear me, but he thought I’d done it so I could kiss him again.
“Oh. Fuck. I’m sorry.” He stepped back, hands up and face coloring. “I didn’t—God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right. I’m—listen, I thought… I came here so I could…” Christ. I was going to explain myself right into an embarrassing corner. And it wasn’t like I was ever going to see this guy again, so did I really need to explain myself?
He could recognize you. He could spread rumors that Vasily Abashev is an asshole who?—
“You good?” Taylor’s brow was pinched with worry.
“Yeah. Yeah. I, uh… I’m sorry. I think I’m going to…” I nodded toward the door.
“You…” His shoulders drooped slightly. “Oh.”
I could see the instant he realized I was rejecting him. I wasn’t surprised to see the disappointment, but I wasn’t expecting the hurt. I guess it made sense—even when it was a stranger, rejection still stung.
Guilt twisted under my ribs. Rejection was part of the game in places like this, but it still sucked. I didn’t like upsetting people.
Yeah, that’s why you were stuck with a shitty man for so long, you fucking idiot.
Ugh. No. I definitely wasn’t sleeping with anyone tonight. Time to go home and lick my wounds, since apparently they weren’t as healed as I’d believed.
“I should go,” I murmured, not even sure if he could hear me over the music. We moved in different directions. He slipped into the crowd, I headed for the door, and when I glanced back, I didn’t see his face.
I hoped he found someone quickly. I was sure he would—a man that hot with a smile that cute? He’d have no trouble getting someone to hook up with him.
It just wouldn’t be me. Not tonight.
As I stepped out into the night, I exhaled and rolled my shoulders, wondering when they’d become so tight.
I hated this.
I hated Drew for everything he’d done.
And I fucking hated myself for not being able to move on.
Three months into this season.
“You’re clear to return to play.” Dr. Larry smiled at me. “Alicia will probably want to send you up to Everett for a conditioning loan, and then you’ll be good to go.”
I smiled back, relieved to finally be given a clean bill of health. I’d been skating for the past few weeks, keeping my conditioning up as much as possible, and I’d even practiced no-contact with my teammates for the past two. Sometimes it felt like I’d never be reactivated, but finally, I was getting the all-clear. The conditioning loan would probably be the longest two weeks of my life, but at the end of it, I’d be playing again.Finally.
I left his office and went upstairs to the GM’s office. Alicia was there, and she confirmed what Larry had suspected—I was on my way to Everett for a conditioning loan.
She clapped my shoulder as she shook my hand. “It’ll be good to have you back, Chevy. You’ve been missed.”
I laughed quietly. “I don’t know. Mathis has been playing well in my spot.”
“He has. And after Condit retires, Mathis might end up as your linemate. But my plan forthisseason was 1A and 1B lines, and for that, I need a healthy center.” She squeezed my shoulder, then let go. “So we’ll see you in that spot soon.”
I smiled and gave her a sharp nod. “Very soon. Thank you, ma’am.”
“And your timing is great,” she said. “The Orcas have been struggling a bit; having a powerhouse forward on their top line should get them out of their funk.”
“Well. I guess we’ll see.”
I didn’t go straight to the PHL. Coach had me practice full-contact with my teammates for a week, and then while they headed off on a road trip, I started my conditioning loan. After my last practice with the Rainiers, my afternoon was a blur of gathering my gear, packing a suitcase, and driving up to Everett. It was only about forty-five minutes north of Seattle (well, when traffic wasn’t bullshit, which it nearly always was), but I didn’t want to be commuting back and forth. The club had booked me a hotel room up the street from the rink where the Orcas practiced. Apparently I’d also be joining them for several road trip games, so I was packed and ready for that, too.
