A smile spread across his face, which grew wider as she scowled at him.
“I would prefer that we spend some time together. Perhaps an hour every day after our evening meal. It would give us a chance to get to know one another. It is not as though either of us ever planned to be wedded in such a way so soon.”
“So soon?” he asked, deeply amused. “Did ye have plans when ye harangued me in that carriage, lass?”
She stifled a laugh. “I thought you were going to slit my throat. Thoughts of marriage were very far from my mind.” He snorted as she shook her head. “And I would like to finish writing my book. If Daphne ever forgives me for having to miss our wedding, I have written to her, asking her to send over the pages that I did not have a chance to bring with me. I would dearly love to finish at least one book before we have a child.”
Magnus’s fingers tightened on the arm of the chair as she shocked him yet again. Theactof creating a child with Leah had plagued his mind from the instant he had first laid eyes on her, but the image of a baby in his future only stirred sadness and guilt in his heart and memories of loss. He had not thought that she would wish for children, let alone bring up the idea.
I suppose it would have been naïve of her to assume I wouldnae want an heir.She kens her own mind, I’ll give her that.
“Very well,” he replied, liking the light that had reentered her eyes at the talk of her book. “Whether ye have me wrestlin’ bears or killin’ wolves with me teeth, I would wish for ye to have the chance to write yer book as well. I have never seen ye look so excited as when ye speak of yer writing.”
Her eyes danced with joy at that statement, and she gave him a wide smile. And as he looked at her, he vowed he would try to put that smile on her face as often as possible. It was the brightest, most wonderful thing he had ever seen.
“My final condition is that there are no more secrets between us,” she said as her amusement faded, and she fixed him with a pointed look. “If I find out that you have kept anything else from me, I shall return to England and live with Wellton.”
Magnus felt the growl rumble in his chest, and he watched with satisfaction as she shuddered under the force of it.
“Ye willnae speak of other men in me presence—especially nae elderly men ready for the grave. Ye are mine now, and I shall have ye treated as such. There will be nay more talk of England for a good long while.”
“Very well.” She sounded relieved. “We can agree on that.”
He nodded with satisfaction. “I shall ensure ye have everythin’ ye could ever need in yer castle. Ye may buy whatever ye need, one hundred quills and reams of paper if ye so wish. Dinnae feel because it is on me estate that it isnae yer home. As far as I am concerned, what’s mine is yers, including the castle and any money that must be spent to furnish it.”
For a long time after that, he did not meet her gaze, aware of her eyes on him as she sat up straighter.
Eventually, she rose without a word, relieving herself of the fur he had given her and, to his surprise, draping it back around his shoulders. Having come into contact with her skin, it smelled of flowers and wild hillsides, and he never wanted that smell to fade.
“Thank you. I am very grateful to you for everything you have done and all that you have offered me.”
He waved her off, staring into the fire. “I am sorry I wasnae honest with ye, lass. I could have saved ye a great deal of heartache if I told ye about Gibson and Elizabeth from the start. I suppose I am nae accustomed to speakin’ of such things nay more. The past is best buried—that’s what me faither used to say.”
A small hand came to rest on his shoulder. “I climbed into a carriage to escape my past, Magnus. I cannot blame you for doing the same. We both got what we wanted, the privilege of a marriage without its problems.”
As her hand left his shoulder, the residual warmth fading, Magnus felt his chest tighten at her words.
Despite knowing they were what they had both agreed on, they seemed cold and hollow as he watched her walk away from him.
CHAPTER 19
“Your maither isdead and buried because of ye, me boy. Never forget that. She would still be here today if it werenae for ye.”
Magnus jolted awake as the morning sun filtered through the drapes on either side of his bed. He rubbed his chest, slowly pulling himself from the clutches of a nightmare.
It had been many years since he had dreamt of his father this often, and he felt aggravated by the unpleasant return of his bad dreams.
He could well imagine why the nightmares had returned. He was still astounded that Leah had been so bold as to mention them having bairns at all, let alone her openness at having them with him.
All his life, his father had blamed him for his mother’s death because she had died in childbirth. With Elizabeth dying whenshe too was with child, Magnus’s feelings toward pregnancy were filled with horrors and half-forgotten fears.
He was terrified that Leah would go through the same thing and he would lose the light she had brought into his life.
What might me life have been like if me maither had survived? Who might I have been?
His mind skipped forward to a future where Leah was giving birth, which led to visions of her dying before she even held the baby. His mind skipped furiously from one terrible scenario to another.
He pictured a future where he became a mirror image of his father. He imagined his resentment at losing his wife transferring to his child, just as his father’s resentment had done to him. He thought of his future self abusing the bairn, hating its existence, and living an isolated life of misery on his island, alone until his death.
