“I know you didn’t want to hear it before and that you thought I was just going to say those words because you did, but I promise that’s not the case. I am so fucking in love with you, it scares the shit out of me.” I ran a hand through my hair, trying to control the urge to go up to him and pull him into my arms.
“Why?”
I stared at him, unsure as to what he meant by that.
“Why after all of this time?” He took a step toward me, his eyes flicking back and forth over my face. “You never told me that you weren’t sleeping with anyone else. Why would you do that, Nicky? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was scared,” I confessed. “I’m still scared. These feelings…” I rubbed the spot in the middle of my chest. “It’s heavy. I can feel them sitting on me. I just…I’m sorry. I truly am. I know I should have told you right away that I wasn’t fucking anyone else. I do know that. I’ll never forgive myself for that shit.”
“You broke my heart,” Noah said softly, his eyes flashing with anger. “I would have been better off thinking you were fucking other people.”
“How can I ever get you to forgive me?” That weight on my chest increased.
Noah crossed his arms in front of him. “I don’t know but you can’t tell me you love me, apologize, and then expect me to forget. It may not be a big deal to others, but it is to me. I didn’t want you to fuck anyone else. Ever. But I also didn’t want to lose any chance I had at being with you. Even if it was just casual.”
“Noah.” My heart pounded in my ears. He was going to end this. For good. I had to do something. I had toearn his forgiveness, but I had no idea how the hell I could do that. Before I knew what I was doing, I dropped to my knees.
FIFTEEN
Noah
Shock couldn’t even beginto describe how I was feeling at seeing Nicky on his knees. Before I could step back, he wrapped his arms around my middle, pushing his face against my stomach.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured over and over again.
“It’s not enough.” I didn’t want to end this, but I also couldn’t give in that easily either.
“I know,” his voice cracked.
My throat worked over a hard lump. “Stand up, Nicky. Please stand up.”
He shook his head, tightening his hold on my body.
I wiggled out of his grip, lowering to my knees in front of him. Cupping his cheek, I ran my thumb along his full mouth. “We can’t go back to how things were.”
“This isn’t because of Veronica…” When his voice trailed off, I let out a soft sigh.
“No, not at all. What we did with her was fun. I think it was something we all needed because who knows if we would be where we are now if it wasn’t for her.”
Nicky cupped my hand that was resting against his cheek. He kissed my palm, linked our fingers, and brought our joined hands down to his lap.
Leaning his forehead against mine, he cleared his throat a few times. He was nervous and didn’t know what to say. Well, neither did I. A part of me wanted to give in, so we could move on. But another part, the stronger part, needed him to know that it would take more than a few apologies to earn my trust again.
“Can we at least be friends?” he asked, finally breaking the silence between us.
I lifted my head, staring at him. “Yes,” I whispered. I hoped that we could eventually be more again but for right now, this would have to do.
SIXTEEN
Noah
Fury burned through myveins. My heart was damn near pounding out of my chest. Everything was pissing me off today and I didn’t know why.
“Noah, geezus.”
I turned at the sound of my best friend’s voice. “What?” I snapped, throwing a plate on the counter a little too hard. I was surprised it didn’t break into pieces.
“You need to talk to my brother,” Presley pointed out. “This shit between you two is driving all of us crazy.”
