“Oh, we’ve done that many times.” Nicky reached for me, but I backed away. Putting some much-needed distance between us, I lifted my hand, warding him off.
“Don’t you dare come near me. Don’t touch me. Hell, lose my number. I don’t give a fuck.”
He flinched like I had slapped him. “You don’t mean that.”
My stomach twisted at the hurt in his voice. “I do. I can’t keep doing this.” I took a deep breath, mustering the courage to say what I had to. “I’ve been in love with you from the moment I met you and I have no idea why.”
His eyes widened. “You what?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “I know right? It doesn’t make sense. And to answer your question. Or I guess they weren’t really questions now, were they? They were assumptions really. No, I did not agree to have sex with you because I was willing to do anything for your dick. But I will admit that I thought maybe after a night together, it could change your mind into wanting more.”
“Noah, I–”
“Don’t.” I shook my head. “It’s done. What’s done is…” I sighed. “Done.”
“We’ve been having fun. We…I…you can’t…it’s…” He stammered. Nicolai Serrano never fucking stammered, and I was man enough to admit, it broke my heart. But I had to be strong. He had to know that I was serious. I was done with the chasing. If he wanted more, he would have to chasemefor once.
“We have been having fun, yes, I’ll give you that.” I stood up straighter, lifting my chin. “But it’s not enough.”
“Noah.” He took a step toward me. “I’m in lo–”
“Don’t,” I snapped, stomping toward him and shoving him. “You do not get to say those words when I know for a fact that you don’t mean them.”
“How the fuck do you know that I don’t mean them?” He shoved me back.
“You’re only wanting to say them, so it gets me to stay. Then we’ll fuck some more and keep going aroundin circles.” I walked past him, heading out into the vast expanse of the hotel room. I still couldn’t believe he could afford to stay in a place like this or that we even had a hotel that carried these large rooms in our small city.
“Noah.” He huffed, shoving a hand through his hair. “This isn’t how I wanted the night to end.”
“Yeah, well you should have thought of that.” My stomach twisted at what I was about to say to him. A man I had known for a while. A man I had grown up with. A man I had been in love with from the first moment he smiled at me. “I’m done, Nicky. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I really do. But I know it’s not with me.”
“Noah, please,” he pleaded, his face falling.
I shook my head. “I can’t.” I went up to him, cupped his shoulders and gave him a small smile. “You’ll find someone else.”
“I don’t want to find anyone else.”
When he went to pull me into his arms, I backed away. I had to because I knew that if he wrapped himself around me, there was no way I would have the strength to leave.
“Take care of yourself, Nicky.” I quickly left the hotel room, needing to get far away from him. I would go to Coffee Beans & Love. That would help me get my mind off of him. Because I knew that if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to move on.
TWELVE
Nicky
He left. He actuallyfucking left.
I was tempted to stay put and not go after him because I knew that once Noah got something in his head, he would refuse to change his mind. But he had to. He had to change his mind about us. I thought what we were doing was fun and that it was all he wanted, but clearly I was wrong. I was so fucking stupid. Of course he wanted more. He wanted something that I wasn’t sure if I could ever give him, but I had to try. I needed him in my life. There was no way I could go on where we were just friends or where he fell in love with someone else. Fuck. He was in love with me. It made sense.
I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
My feet suddenly took me forward. It was like I was having an out-of-body experience as I rushed to the door and threw it open.
Noah was walking down the hall toward the elevators.
“Noah,” I yelled.
He stiffened, stopping in his tracks. “Let me go, Nicky. You clearly don’t want more out of this, so just…let me go.”
